Clients with Bad Personalities

[orville]

 

What are the personality traits you dislike in a client?

What personalities make you wish you didn't take that appointment?

Edited February 23, 2021 by orville

[rn901]

One of my favorite topics! Entitlement, smugness, lack of consideration for others, an attitude of "I'm paying so whatever I say, goes" or "I'm the customer and the customer is always right". You can find a little bit of that obnoxious childish sentiment on here, in fact.

I can handle arrogance and ego, to a point, until it goes into the territory of entitlement and insult to others. 

I also usually don't give second chances to flakes/no shows either. That kind of goes into the category of "lack of consideration for others", but I get it.  People can panic and be anxious around something as vulnerable as sexuality. I'll cut those people some slack. But if you didn't show up because you "found someone else" or just changed your mind, then no. The least a person can do is message if they are canceling. I'm not wasting my time on you again if you couldn't even give me the bare minimum courtesy of telling me that you're canceling at the last minute. 

Very rarely have I regretted an appointment. I'll be pretty quick in detecting the entitlement right away and not even entertain meeting such characters in the first place. The flakes are harder to detect, but once you flake then nah not again. So my zero tolerance for flaking and entitlement has done me pretty well in preventing appointments I'll end up regretting. My sanity and self-respect are worth whatever amount they're willing to pay. The power to decide who I meet is one of the greatest perks of this job. 

Edited December 30, 2021 by rn901

[Jamie21]

I wouldn’t say I see entitlement in clients. Some are demanding, fair enough, they’re paying so I’m fine with them asking for things, as long as it’s done politely.

Occasionally I get a client who won’t or can’t engage with me as a person and I think that’s their problem not mine. They’d get a better session if they looked me in the eye and talked about what they like but they seem unable to do that. It’s usually because of their sexual hang ups and shame about being gay or something like that. Those clients tend to only engage with me as an object for them to relieve sexual frustration. I don’t mind it but it’s their loss.

The flakes who book and then just don’t show up without any explanation or apology get blocked for ever. Their number is also shared with other sex workers. So they give me hassle once but that’s all. If someone apologised and had a fair excuse they get one chance.

But overall I have to say 95% of my clients are absolute gentlemen (and a few women). I guess I’m lucky I’m not attracting troublesome clients. I’m also very accommodating so that might be part of the story. 

[italianboyph]

I think communication is a big thing that a lot of people just lack. Like stated above, clients will book and then not show up, call, or even text back and leave you hanging. I’ve been with clients, who have seem a bit angry at times and take whatever frustration they have going on out on me and I usually don’t pay it any mind.  All around I think people should just learn to communicate and treat people the way you wanna be treated. 

[+ Tygerscent]

Really most everyone has been respectful and upstanding individuals~ Of the few placed on the “red flag”, “block” or “psychopath” list, they have presented themselves with one or a combination of the following: anger management/control  issues, drug issues, stalker issues~
 That applies to escorts/providers as well~
 That behavior is unacceptable and often inexcusable~ Intentional harassment, intent to harm physically, psychologically and/or emotionally is not okay and is not justifiable~  Holding someone emotionally, physically, psychologically hostage, bullying, blackmailing are all inappropriate~ 
 
  I’ve seen instances where Providers encountered those who were under the impression that Providers are door mats~  
 The underestimating clients were often surprised when the carpet was pulled from under their feet~ (It’s assuming to think providers lack self respect and won’t stand up for themselves or are unable).

  

Edited January 7, 2022 by Tygerscent

[TumYum]

On 1/3/2022 at 3:27 PM, italianboyph said:

I think communication is a big thing that a lot of people just lack. Like stated above, clients will book and then not show up, call, or even text back and leave you hanging. I’ve been with clients, who have seem a bit angry at times and take whatever frustration they have going on out on me and I usually don’t pay it any mind.  All around I think people should just learn to communicate and treat people the way you wanna be treated. 

interesting comment about "anger" - one of my regular providers (who has mentioned the "good energies" I carry with me, btw) told me that especially lately he has had to deal with a lot of angry people --

may i ask - what does that actually "look like" to you?

[+ Tygerscent]

26 minutes ago, TumYum said:

interesting comment about "anger" - one of my regular providers (who has mentioned the "good energies" I carry with me, btw) told me that especially lately he has had to deal with a lot of angry people --

may i ask - what does that actually "look like" to you?

What does the anger look like~? …or feel like~? Or both~? Are you asking what defines the perceived anger or anger management issue~? Or more at how “not paying any mind” plays out on both sides~?

Edited January 7, 2022 by Tygerscent

[TumYum]

1 hour ago, Tygerscent said:

What does the anger look like~? …or feel like~? Or both~? Are you asking what defines the perceived anger or anger management issue~? Or more at how “not paying any mind” plays out on both sides~?

i guess what i am curious about is how an angry person presents himself to you - what are the signs of it... and how does it directly affect you. anger frightens me. i just shut down. but i assume in a client relationship the dynamic is .... different....

[italianboyph]

3 hours ago, TumYum said:

interesting comment about "anger" - one of my regular providers (who has mentioned the "good energies" I carry with me, btw) told me that especially lately he has had to deal with a lot of angry people --

may i ask - what does that actually "look like" to you?

I usually don’t let bother me. It’s just been a few things where people vent heavy about other people and things that pissed them off. Not sure how to really say, cause you can tell when someone is angry and upset. Its rare but 

[+ Tygerscent]

5 hours ago, TumYum said:

i guess what i am curious about is how an angry person presents himself to you - what are the signs of it... and how does it directly affect you. anger frightens me. i just shut down. but i assume in a client relationship the dynamic is .... different....

Being in the E/C relationship can make a difference in how things are approached. 
 On one occasion, an excessively drunk Client, (a regular and now deceased), kept referring to me as his (insert the “n” word here). This happened throughout the day during which time I played it off with humor and eventually just ignored after repeated simile remarks~  The comment returned several times and got worse as he got more drunk during dinner. (He was self admittedly an alcoholic with anger issues). 
 While walking home I finally said: “that is offensive on so many levels” at which point he turned to me and grabbed me by the throat~  I stopped, hands still in my pockets and said: “really~?”.

 I reached up and removed his hands from my throat and then helped him walk back to the hotel.

 When this particular person would become  insecure about himself, doubt himself, feel victimized by his health or history, he would strike out at those around him~ He might direct his anger at a chef, a waiter, hotel staff… on occasion myself~ That particular evening, he was angry with himself Bruce’s he was having difficulty walking. So, was relying on me to carry things for him~ Not a big deal to me to help him~ Happy to do that~ He just hated that he needed the help~ 
 That behavior didn’t frighten me… when he would have these outbursts, something within him was deeply frightened and he would strike out at those around him.
 I’m explaining what would happen with him, not justifying it~ 

 It’s not my place to reprimand him or anyone else…  I’m not his guardian or parent~ He was an adult~ I held him accountable and advocated myself the following day once he was sober~ 

 I will stand strong and defend myself when someone takes undue advantage of me~ Likewise, I will defend someone being wronged or disrespected~ That doesn’t mean I have to be angry back, yell, retaliate, violent in any way etc… it just means I make the boundaries clear and let it be known I will not accept or be the brunt of bad behavior~ The anger is theirs to own and be responsible for… I don’t take responsibility for someone else’s bad behavior~ They need to figure them selves out~ That’s not for me to do that for them~ I can be supportive while they work thru something~ We all need support sometimes~

 Most things aren’t worth arguing about~ Life’s too short.  Misunderstandings happen~ They happen in life in general even to the best of friends~ It’s rarely important or necessary to hold onto the excess weight of unimportant issues~ 

 Use the energy to build relationships, not tear them down~ Move forward~ 

 Sometimes someone will do you wrong, disrespect you, whatever… assume the position of being a gentleman, treat them like one, not because they are but, because you are~ Good can come of that for both parties thru the simple act of compassion~ 

 What you can’t heal with humor and hugs, heal with heart… whatever your approach, let it stem from the compassion you might hope for with your own discrepancies~ At some point in your life you will be on the other side…  

  Not one of us is a perfect being~ 

  Nor are we doormats~
  Move forward with mutual respect… and if that is not possible, understanding~