hiring escorts is a fetish?

[Guest jeejer]

Several days back there was a post to a thread (which I can not find now) in which some one posted that they thought that hiring escorts was a fetish and could possibly be self destructive. I thought at the time that it was an interesting observation and was looking forward to reading more discussion. Seems like there was none. So I would like to open this up again.

 

How do you feel about hiring escorts being called an fetish? Agree? Diasgree? Why?

[Guest regulation]

Pastime

 

Hiring escorts is a pastime, nothing more. Any pastime, golf, tennis, stamp collecting, can be harmful if one indulges in it to excess. I think if spending time with escorts becomes so important that it takes significant time, energy and emotion away from real interpersonal relationships one has reached the point of excess. The guy in the other thread who's celebrating his "anniversary" of being with an escort might want to think about that.

[Rick Munroe]

It depends on whether you objectify us or not: the word "fetish" refers to an object or bodily part (i.e., a cucumber fetish, a foot fetish) whose presence is necessary for sexual gratification. It isn't used for people. Do you mean "obsession?" (I know, I should just shut up and drop my pants.)

[Rick Munroe]

RE: Pastime

 

>I

>think if spending time with

>escorts becomes so important that

>it takes significant time, energy

>and emotion away from real

>interpersonal relationships one has reached

>the point of excess.

 

Who's to say that a client/escort relationship isn't real? There are many types of relationships and some business-oriented ones can have more depth of feeling and passion than non-business ones. I made some very close friends in other jobs I've had and I never thought of those as not being real or significant (although it's true that in some cases, when the job ended, so did the friendship...but it was good while it lasted).

 

As Mary Richards says in the final episode of The Mary Tyler Moore Show, "What is a family anyway? Just people who make you feel less alone and really loved."

[Guest albinorat]

>Several days back there was a

>post to a thread (which

>I can not find now)

>in which some one posted

>that they thought that hiring

>escorts was a fetish and

>could possibly be self destructive.

 

>

>How do you feel about hiring

>escorts being called an fetish?

> Agree? Diasgree? Why?

>

 

Been there, done that. When I was young, horny but fat and forlorn I had money and got kind of addicted to hiring "hustlers" (not a PC word, I realize). This was the tail end of what a lot of people think of a golden age in cruising in NYC --53 and 3rd, the bar, Cowboys, The 9th Circle and if you were willing to be careful The Hayloft and if you were willing to be very, very careful Port Authority and the area around 42nd St at certain times.

 

That was pre-Aids, pre-crack, pre-tweaking, pre the final flight of the working class to the suburbs, pre the armies of dangerous homeless under Dinkens and pre the harsh crack down on open "prostution" under Giuliani..

 

It was easy to find good looking, straight acting guys; they liked the money, some liked me but there was no committment on either side and I could usually buy the kind of sex I liked, without having to hope the other person would really be into it. I didn't need to waste time on things like seduction, persuasion, caring or tenderness (though I was always very nice to the people I paid).

 

I think I spent way too much; I had good to very good and some great experiences and met some terrific guys but it did become a turn on, just going out and doing it.

 

I like to think I'm more careful now (hell, it costs more, I have to be!). But I've also noticed recently that I've enjoyed the escorts who seemed like people and were personal and friendly more than I might have twenty five years ago.

 

So I do think it can be a fetish, or an obsession or a power trip. For someone who doesn't fit the bar/club/gym stereotype (and not many people over 40 do or can) it's probably the only way to have cute guys who will sell you the sex you want. Sometimes in the old days I would get a hustler just because I was anxious or lonely or bored or needed to feel a little better about myself, so I could pay for a few rounds and take home a cute guy and not worry about the dollar amount.

 

But I think it can lead to not evolving the skills to find or maintain a relationship; it can lock you into a visually driven sexual objectification that makes it hard to find guys your own age with your interests sexy. And it can be tough on the bank account.

 

I hope I view it now as a luxury to be indulged carefully and with guys who are fun to be with as much as they are my *type* and willing to get into my various scenes. But since I took a break for a couple of years and am just starting up again I'll have to see if I get trapped into "the habit" again.

 

Albinorat

[Guest youngblood]

My darling Rick, don't ever "shut up and just drop your pants." Your brain is as fantastic and delicious as your nether regions. Though I usually try not to encourage semantic arguments on this message board, in my opinion Jeejer, the word "fetish" doesn't necessarily have a negative connotation.

[Guest Tex]

LAST EDITED ON Sep-08-00 AT 10:18AM (EST)[p]I wrote that hiring escorts COULD be a fetish, which is not necessarily always negative. The symptoms - good and bad - have been blatantly displayed on this board during the entire course of its existence.

 

Though I can understand (and respect) Rick Munroe's opinion, I'm not sure why he would deny what seems obvious to me. Maybe it's because those of us who suffer from an escort fetish CAN be VERY profitable to his business. On the other hand, maybe he's right. Maybe he's been lucky enough to not have obsessive clients? Maybe he thinks that the clients who obsess on him don't also obsess on most of the other escorts they hire? Maybe they don't? Who knows? Regardless, I think the author of this thread, JeeJer, expressed a desire to discuss a REAL isssue, whatever it's called.

 

I'm not sure if Rick intended his other comment which objected to the concept of client/escort relationships not being real to be related to the escort fetish subject. I certainly did not intend to imply that those relationships are not real. Can't fetish-type relationships be "real", even if they involve escorts? Hell, yes. In fact, when used in a healthy manifestation of fantasy, they are usually VERY intense relationships involving deep levels of trust and honesty. Right?

 

Also, since when do fetishes not involve the use of people? This one is way out there . . .

 

Whatever you call it, we all share an interest in an activity which most of us are not comfortable discussing with our mates, friends, family or doctors. Right? My comments are not intended to alienate anyone, nor imply that our behavior is negative or dysfunctional. Some of us have a need to understand why we do what we do. I'm sure Rick has asked the same question of himself, on a different lever; however, I wonder how he - as hot as he is - would feel if we, as clients, decided to psychologically analize the reason(s) he chooses to participate in his profession?

 

Lastly, I hope our resident doctor decides to comment in this thread. While he's not a Psychologist, I highly respect his professional opinion.

 

Personally, this subject matter is way too deep for a Friday. Where's my ATM card? Where's my black-book of phone numbers? My "Unzipped" magazine? (Is that magazine a joke or what?)

 

Good luck, guys. Fetish or not, you are all loved. We are not alone.

[Rick Munroe]

Hey, slow down, Tex! Look back at what I wrote. I never said any of that. I merely responded to the one line that I quoted, and clarified the meaning of the word fetish. I never said clients do not obsess (I even offered that word as a better choice than fetish!) You're reading into my posts and projecting opinions into them that aren't there.

[Guest LOVEHANDLE]

I still believe that hiring an escort or masseur for that matter is something akin to smoking, if you can finance it, go for it. Couldn't care less if you'll call it a fetish or not, and by the way, a fetish may not just be associated with a thing, it could an idea, an imagined thing or something else. So indeed hiring an escort could be considered a fetish, based on that. Just food for thought.

[Matt_Vancouver]

LAST EDITED ON Sep-08-00 AT 01:04PM (EST)[p]please do drop your pants, I'll be right over.

Shoot first.... talk later: )

matt

http://go.to/mattsplace

matt_escort@yahoo.com

[Guest regulation]

RE: Pastime

 

>Who's to say that a client/escort

>relationship isn't real? There are

>many types of relationships and

>some business-oriented ones can have

>more depth of feeling and

>passion than non-business ones.

 

 

I would say that a relationship in which one person spends time with and shows affection for the other only as and when he is paid to do so isn't real. If a client wants to know whether his relationship with an escort is based on anything other than money, it's very easy to find out. He merely has to ask the escort to be with him without being paid.

[Paul Revere]

My Websters defines Fetish: an object of irrational reverence or obsessive devotion.

 

I never treat escorts as objects, so I guess its not a fetish, just a hobby or pastime or distraction or relaxation technique. If you are into "obsessive devotion" with an escort, then you may have a problem.

 

Fetish usually refers to objects rather than people.

[+ honcho]

Semantics: Fetish vs. Obsession vs. ??

 

I happen to agree with Rick here; there's the Alice-in-wonderland-Humpty-Dumpty camp of "Words mean what I want them to mean" and the camp to which I belong (the curmudgeonly, schoolmarmish-type crowd) who believe words mean what the dictionary says they mean, (even if thats's not how they are commonly used these days). And "Fetish" has the definition which Rick cited - "An object or activity required for sexual gratification."

 

I wish there were a separate word for "something that is a guaranteed and huge turn-on, but not something that I need to have or see or think about in order to squirt everytime". Any suggestions?

[CT Dick]

The act of hiring an escort (the thrill of the ads, the excitement of the phone call, the tension before his arrival, the uncertainty as the door is opened, the eroticism of undressing, and the actual act) is the enticement for me.

 

An escort is not solely the means to sexual gratification; the whole package is a thrill. As such it can border on being a fetish/obsession if I let it.

[Rick Munroe]

RE: Semantics: Fetish vs. Obsession vs. ??

 

>I wish there were a separate

>word for "something that is

>a guaranteed and huge turn-on,

>but not something that I

>need to have or see

>or think about in order

>to squirt everytime". Any

>suggestions?

 

My mouth.

[Guest Jake]

>please do drop your pants, I'll

>be right over.

>Shoot first.... talk later: )

>matt

>http://go.to/mattsplace

>matt_escort@yahoo.com

 

Damn, Matt and Rick together - now that's a fetish I could get into (so to speak!).

[Guest Jake]

RE: Semantics: Fetish vs. Obsession vs. ??

 

>I wish there were a separate

>word for "something that is

>a guaranteed and huge turn-on,

>but not something that I

>need to have or see

>or think about in order

>to squirt everytime". Any

>suggestions?

 

 

Yeah ... RickMunroe (see, I made it just one word!)

[Rick Munroe]

LAST EDITED ON Sep-10-00 AT 01:25AM (EST)[p]>Shoot first.... talk later: )

 

My favorite way to do it, Matt...

Get your ass here already!

 

>Matt and Rick together - now that's a fetish I >could get into

 

Jake, you have a talented enough mouth for both of us!

[jack]

CT, you said it. That's me. This site, HooBoy, facilitates and sophisticates the process having been on it several months--especially regarding the excitement "opening the door". For example, for a recent trip to NY, from the Reviews, I selected campus escorts to work with since my breed is the 18yr, 5'8", 135lb, smooth kid they have a selection of. I called them a couple days ahead of time, checked into the Marriott Marquis, across the street from the Gaiety. When I walked into my room, I called campus, set up an appointment for that afternoon, and for a special treat, for 9:00 am the next morning, in order to start the day with a rock hard satin smooth mouth wash. HooBoy made this all possible and through campus, with excellent views of their staff, a predictable stunning time. p.s. The word is not fetish, its obsession.

[+ bigjoey]

agree with coments on "campus". on two trips to new york i used them with very good results. michael, the owner, was very professional as were the men i hired. it took alot of the uncertainty out of hiring.

[Bilbo]

I think that money is definitely a fetish. And most of America, the only land I know fairly well, puts a whole lot of power into those little pieces of paper, not just us. So why is it surprising that it can become a fetish? And why do people on this thread, some of them, react as if we are saying that the escort is the fetish? Is the leather master the fetish, or is it the leather both you and he are using to flavor your sex together? And while I know that while I was working I was blessed to get to work with some awfully hot men who wouldn't have had sex with me unless the money was involved, and there were times when I wouldn't have been very able to perform without the money, most of the time it was the garnish. I gotta disagree with the dictionary here, the fetish increases the scene but isn't necessarily necessary. After all, the dictionary is at a distinct disadvantage in that they have to cover so much ground in so short a format.