The first time....(help!)

[Guest mrx98tx]

Obviously, I can't entrust this question to any of my friends, so here goes:

 

I've never really thought I'd enjoy anal sex (the few times I've done that, I've been a top), but after reading so many reviews about men who have enjoy bottoming for a masculine, rugged escort, I'm considering trying this for the first time.

 

So, my questions are:

 

(1) How much pain is involved? I hear all these references to it hurting, sometimes for just a minute time, but then after the pain passes, the pleasure of taking a man's cock (especially with a top who really knows how to do it) seems to surpass anything I could imagine (at least according to some reviews I'm reading here). I really want to experience that, I think, but honestly, the pain possibility scares me a lot! Can anyone help me out here?

 

(2) Assuming that I can get past the "pain" issue <g>, I need to find the right escort who will have the right personality (trustworthiness, plus the mental compatability) coupled with my ideal physical type (muscular, beefy, rugged, and all-man) who can take me there. I live in Dallas, but frequently get to Manhattan. Also hit Vegas regularly. Can anyone recommend an escort who can be slow and gentle and supportive while at the same time being masculine, muscular, and aggressive? It would be great, too, if this man is known to be a good top man for "first-timers" like myself! I hope there's someone out there like that!

 

Thanks, guys...I await your guidance. And, thanks, too for many educational postings on this board...I read it daily and really enjoy it!

[Guest bottomboykk]

There's a good article by Aaron Lawrence about learning to bottom. It has a lot of good advice on how to suceed. http://www.aaronlawrence.com/newfiles/advice99-3.htm

 

As to your second question, that's a difficult one to answer. I got criticized before for this suggestion, but in NYC, I recommend Scott Matthews (reviewed here many times). Yes, I know he has a huge cock, but he is so skilled, you'll experience little or no pain. The first time I was with him (actually before he'd adopted his "Scoitt Matthews" porn persona), I wasn't near as experienced a bottom as I am now, and I was extremely tight. I'd had a lot of painful encounters before then, but Scott was pain-free! I know it's counter-intuitive that a huge cock could enter that tiny space without a lot of pain, but Scott delivers. I can't recommend him highly enough! He's the best at what he does.

[Guest BH]

Like you, I was exclusively a top. I too was curious, especially because one of the escorts I use frequently really seems to enjoy bottoming. So I tried it one time with an escort who was very gentle, and very good. I've done it a few time since. Generally, I have to really be in the mood, but when I am, it is fantastic.

It can be a bit painful at first. Your partner will be able to insert a little bit (and it will be pleasurable), but then he will hit the muscles that control your sphincter. That's when it can get painful. Those muscles are not going to permit penetration unless and until you're ready, and trying to force it hurts. Go slow, and try to relax. For me, being on my stomach is best. One technique I learned from another website was to simulate the feeling of trying to move my bowels. For some reason, that relaxes the muscles. Lots of lube is a must. You also want to have actually had a recent bowel movement to avoid a mess.

Once my lover has penetrated, I frequently experience the feeling of needing to go to the bathroom. This usually passes after a few moments, and then the intense pleasure begins. The orgasm is really intense because of the pressure on the prostate.

As for escorts, my favorite New York escort is Erik Farmboy. (You can find him on this site.) He's fantastic: very good looking, friendly, easy going and hung 8". Erik may have gotten out of the business; he told me that he was thinking of doing something else when we last got together (in April.) There's another escort in New York named Seamus (also on this site) who is taut and hung. Whomever you hire, tell them in advance that it is your first time, and to please go gently.

Good luck, and remember, your first experience may not be the best. Try it at least two or three times.

[Guest allansmith63]

LAST EDITED ON Sep-04-00 AT 03:32PM (EST)[p]I'll second the value of Aaron Lawrence's comments about this topic. It sure helped me when I finally succumbed to trying it. I know I'm basically a top, but man, with the right guy, bottoming is incredibly sexy, pain-free, and downright fun! The one piece of advice - make sure you're on top the first few times, while I never felt much pain, I could control the pressure of "the intruder" on my internal sphincter until it relaxed (30 - 60 seconds) - then it was home-free, and fantastic. (Actually, as far as pain, I found fingers far more painful & uncomfortable :-)

 

Most important thing - which you're looking for - is the right guy - and maybe don't go for it the first time with the right guy, save it for a second time, once you know the guy a little.

 

Go for it!! You'll be glad you did!! (Though there's still that (for me) stronger desire to have a man under me... but that's a "hole" other post :-)

 

A.

[CT Dick]

Allansmith is right. Start out on top: have the guy lie on his back with that flagpole sticking up and sit down on it gradually. That puts you in control. Once you are all the way down and things are relaxed, move to your stomach or back and let him go to town - there's nothing like it.

Dick

[+ Charlie]

The first time

 

Although I am turned on by the idea of being fucked, the reality--like the reality of many fantasies--isn't always pleasant. If you can't really relax, it will probably be somewhat painful, and I sometimes find that it actually becomes more painful rather than less as the act continues. Strangely, like the other writers I have sometimes found a very big cock less painful than a smaller one, but the most important factor is still the person it's attached to. You need to really want to do it, and to trust the guy you're doing it with, which is why it's not always a good idea to start with a complete stranger.

[Traveller]

RE: The first time

 

I having trouble understanding this question. I'm going to re-read it three times and then I'll get back to you with an answer. HELLO, ALPHA CENTAURI.

 

Much later.

[Guest Nice Guy]

98,

Since everyone seems to be fessing up. I was raised a TOP, and once in awhile, with my lover I would bottom... it was not until years later that I experienced the true pleasure of being on the bottom. Oddly enough it was with an escort in Philly.

I agree with Allan and the other guys. Start on top and by the time you are relaxed, roll on your back and then let your eyes really ROLL back. I have not tried Scott Matthews, however we are booked partly because of this very issue. I do have, and will tell you about another gentleman.

Mike Grey, he has been reviewed and there is a pic. He is hung, but the most gentle and senitive and intutive guy I have ever been with. He can "read" you and will. SO hold on and enjoy.

He works out of NY and LA. And don't be afraid of the physical presence... he is a real sweetie.

NG

[Guest mrx98tx]

Hey guys, I"m the original poster. Thanks so much for all the information (and the Aaron Lawrence article was very informative)! Interesting that learning how to bottom can actually be "taught". Looks like I have some work to do <g>!

 

I know one posting referenced Mike Grey. I can't find him anywhere. Does anyone know where I can get a pic of him?

 

Again -- thanks for all the help! I'll let you know what happens, if you are interested!

[CT Dick]

Yes, please. I'm (we're?) interested.

[ted]

On this site go to "escorts by region" text is faster way, click on Ca. He's listed as Mike Grey in the LA section and there is a picture. I also believe you will find him on the escorts4u site and at least on other, maybe Boyzusa.

[Guest MikeConway]

I havent read all the posts so I may be repeating myself. I am completely versatile, but ususally only top with clients, as I have to get a feel for the other person (pun really not intended!) before I am going to let them in! I found that some guys may think if you bottom you like the shove and ram approach which I am not into, so I think your experience with pain will depend on alot of different factors, who relaxed you are, the size of the dick, sometimes the bigger ones are the easier one, skill of the top, etc etc

 

I do have a page on my website that I wrote for those who have not been the "bottom" before and want to do it. I used to get asked about this alot which is why I decided to put this on my website. Many have told me they found it useful depending on where your knowledge level is about this stuff.

 

My website, if I can post this here is at http://www.gayerotica.org/mike

 

thanks,

 

Mike in Toronto

[Guest Jake]

This has been an incredibly enlightening thread for a sort-of newbie like me. When it started out I assumed it would have no value to me because I wasn't ever going to bottom ... too painful, blah, blah, blah. Then I started reading and found my ass twitching at some of the descriptions of pleasure. Was I missing something? Could it be I was a closet bottom? Egads! I still haven't bottomed, but I am for sure more open (is that the right word?) to the possibility. So thanks for all the advice, guys and I'll keep you posted as to my anal happenings.