Question about bottoming

[MmM]

I need people's opinion. I seldom bottomed before but I am enjoying it more recently. After enjoying a romp session, however, I find that for the next 3 days, going to the bathroom can be quite painful. And then it resolves itself. Is this normal, or should I be seeing a professional? I am concerned about having hemorrhoids and/or fissures.

[+ MysticMenace]

yay for you, @manmed - he be gettin it ??

 

my experience is pretty limited - just been getting pounded for close to a year at this point, but I do not remember having painful pooping later. for the most part, my experience was more on having difficulty actually pooping sometimes but it's probably because I would douche the hell out of my hole with my shower shot in some instances. unless other more experienced folks say otherwise, would probably want to get it checked out.

[jjkrkwood]

Back in the early days when I was experimenting and trying to discover WHAT I liked, anytime I would bottom it was difficult, and I would bleed for days afterwards which was concerning. I finally decided the prep, aftermath and anxiety was not worth it for me, since I never really ENJOYED bottoming anyway.... but if you enjoy it, there are many bottom afficianados who swear bottoming is the greatest thing, so it might be worth giving it some time ? As your anus stretches over time and gets used to the invasion, it might become more comfortable and less painful in the aftermath....

[+ nycman]

I’d say it‘s normal. Your hole is getting stretched and it’s not used to it.

Just be careful and stop if you’re having real pain during sex. My guess

is that the episodes of subsequent pain will fade as time goes on.

[Penn7]

Would it help to use a smaller butt plug and then later on a larger one?

[dcman]

Talking with your top and letting him know you want to at least start out very slow and easy and using lots of lube is critical. For me, lots of deep wet kissing is critical as well. If it hurts stop and try again another day.

[+ Lucky]

Desire plays a big part in this. The more you want it, the easier it will be. (Perhaps not the first time!)

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Getting fucked requires you to, basically, build up a callous. Your system has to get used to it.

 

If it's happening sporadically, it will continue to be problematic. Perhaps a toy?

[jjkrkwood]

No matter how you decide to handle your bottoming issue, I just want to stress that as a 1000% GAY man, life without bottoming can be happy, fulfilling, productive AND pleasurable. Gay doesnt automatically mean Bottom. Dont feel pressured. If bottoming doesnt work out for you, concentrate and perfect the things that give you pleasure and joy. That's how I became an expert and accolade winning COCKSUCKER ! ? ?

[Penn7]

I really enjoy frottage/naked grinding bodies together. In the shower or wherever. Can be a lot like fucking, just without the penetration. I have a hot buddy who reserves fucking for his bf but does all of that with me and lets me finger him. It’s pretty satisfying for both of us :-)

[Penn7]

I’ve heard it’s also important for the bottom to have an erection before/when the fucking begins, something to do with the prostate.

[+ keroscenefire]

I need people's opinion. I seldom bottomed before but I am enjoying it more recently. After enjoying a romp session, however, I find that for the next 3 days, going to the bathroom can be quite painful. And then it resolves itself. Is this normal, or should I be seeing a professional? I am concerned about having hemorrhoids and/or fissures.

 

Bottoming sometimes gives me hemorrhoids especially if it's a longer/rougher session. Hemorrhoids typically bleed slightly so watch for blood on the toilet paper or if you have a bidet or whatever, maybe use a tissue to check it. Preparation H actually works really well..it is a vasoconstrictor that reduces the inflammation of the blood vessels. It helps pretty quickly and the petroleum jelly in the product also helps protect that sensitive skin there and lets it heal. It's also a good idea generally to keep it clean...shower or use a bidet after a bowel movement. I think you're probably fine unless the pain lasts longer than a few days...if that is the case then it would probably be worth seeing a doctor.

[+ g56whiz]

Getting fucked requires you to, basically, build up a callous. Your system has to get used to it.

 

If it's happening sporadically, it will continue to be problematic. Perhaps a toy?

We’re not talking slinky here are we? LOL

[+ g56whiz]

I’ve heard it’s also important for the bottom to have an erection before/when the fucking begins, something to do with the prostate.

Not according to a lot of porn I’ve watched.

[+ sync]

Not according to a lot of porn I’ve watched.

A determining factor may be that bottoming porn actors are more likely to be intermediate or advanced participants.

[+ Yellowrod]

For me it has to be with the right person. The chemistry has to be there for me for the desire to rise within me. If a guy just wants to fuck me and we don't click then it hurts and can be uncomfortable. But with certain guys it can slide right in, and I sometimes orgasm hands free.

[jeezifonly]

Be confident in your cleanliness. Part of what you need to be able do for your enjoyment of the act, is to push as though you’re moving your bowels,

While knowing there’s nothing that can come out as a result.

 

Tell your top you need lots of hole foreplay - rimming, fingering, massaging. Not just spit - use lube.

Your outermost ring will be relaxed from massage and touch, Use your favorite lube and let a couple of fingers in, to push lube in a couple inches. Clench closed, and then push out. Repeat. In between those two actions is relaxation. My relaxing is better on the inhale, yours may be on the exhale. Now you have all the tools to make sure you’re resisting the instinct to make yourself water-tight. That’s how most discomfort comes about - the resistance to being penetrated works against both pleasure and safety. Breathe. Relax. Clench release relax. Toys can be instructive more than you’d imagine, especially finding your breath.

[RunnerGuy]

Absolutely keep that area clean for the next couple days as it heals. As others have suggested, keep an eye out for blood, which could signal tearing.

 

You don't want to put too harsh of soaps up there nor overdouche as that's not good either. Just some gentle soap and warm water, and make sure you rinse it out fully.

 

As for the next session, there's a lot of good advice above. Desire does play a big part, but always remember to listen to your body. If it hurts, take a breather. If it's too painful, stop.

 

Butt plugs are a great way to prepare (depending on the size of your partner).

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

At this time I wouldn't schedule a special appointment to address it. I would bring it up at my next regularly scheduled appointment.

[Penn7]

For me it has to be with the right person. The chemistry has to be there for me for the desire to rise within me. If a guy just wants to fuck me and we don't click then it hurts and can be uncomfortable. But with certain guys it can slide right in, and I sometimes orgasm hands free.

Yeah, the very few times I have bottomed, it’s been like that except I never came hands-free!

[+ Snbrd]

Every once in a while you may feel sore afterwards or feel that way after #2. However, it should be a fairly rare occurrence and only the next morning, not 3 days. Are you tense when bottoming? Especially if it's new to you, make sure you relax both your mind and your anus. Many bottoms use poppers to relax but I don't advocate inhaling toxic substances.

 

manned, if you can bear one more suggestion, set up an extended session with a good versatile provider. He can show you how he handles a hung top and gently top you. PM me for suggestions.

[MmM]

Thank you all for your suggestions. Special mention to @Benjamin_Nicholas who I respect immensely because of your torrid, very colorfully-described sexcapades! I have learned to enjoy bottoming, and have come to expect it as part of my sexual encounters (except the unplanned unprepped ones ) I am able to relax and take my time in taking a large one in, which usually means me being on top, and using a lot of lube. And once my body has gotten accustomed to it, there's really nothing quite like the sensation of cumming while passionately deep-kissing a sexy man whose cock is fully inside you. Everything is fine afterwards, until I have to go to the bathroom the following day, and my ass feels raw and painful. It gets better the subsequent days. Perhaps I do need to do it more often in order to develop a "callous". .

[Mjonis]

The only times I've been sore afterwards are when not enough lube was used. Use LOTS. And it's OK to stop if you need/want more. You can never have enough lube, IMO. And go slow, at least for me. I can understand the top wanting to go faster, but I like it slower, although if my husband only puts his head in just past the sphincter and goes in and out like that, it feels MUCH better (to me anyway) vs. ramming the whole thing in all the way and going in and out. Maybe more nerve endings there or something?

 

I've also found coconut oil to work REALLY well (for me) Stays lubricated a lot and doesn't really taste (I like to lube up my husbands cock and lick/suck it before inserting). Although ironically I find it to be "too viscous" for lube on my cock (like you can't feel much). Very odd to explain.

I guess my cock likes more friction. haha

[MmM]

The only times I've been sore afterwards are when not enough lube was used. Use LOTS. And it's OK to stop if you need/want more. You can never have enough lube, IMO. And go slow, at least for me. I can understand the top wanting to go faster, but I like it slower, although if my husband only puts his head in just past the sphincter and goes in and out like that, it feels MUCH better (to me anyway) vs. ramming the whole thing in all the way and going in and out. Maybe more nerve endings there or something?

 

I've also found coconut oil to work REALLY well (for me) Stays lubricated a lot and doesn't really taste (I like to lube up my husbands cock and lick/suck it before inserting). Although ironically I find it to be "too viscous" for lube on my cock (like you can't feel much). Very odd to explain.

I guess my cock likes more friction. haha

Coconut oil seems a good idea! But I don't know if I can still use virgin-pressed...?.

[Maximiliam]

I need people's opinion. I seldom bottomed before but I am enjoying it more recently. After enjoying a romp session, however, I find that for the next 3 days, going to the bathroom can be quite painful. And then it resolves itself. Is this normal, or should I be seeing a professional? I am concerned about having hemorrhoids and/or fissures.

Maybe don't b too rough because you could tear some and lining