Stressing Situation... I don't know what to do...

[big-n-tall]

A friend of mine recently got injured and has been on the mend. My friend lives on the other side of the country. So I can't visit but I have been in semi regular contact to check in via phone/text. I don't want to go into great detail, but my friend seemed to be sinking into depression. I do/did my best to make him see things will improve. It'll just take time to heal. Well I texted my friend today to check in.

 

Today he asked me to stop contacting him and to not take it personally. That he goes to bed and hopes not to wake up the next morning. I told him I'd respect his wishes but that he needed to go talk to a professional immediately. I told him I loved him.

 

I'm rather distraught. I really don't know what I can do. I love this guy, he's been a a good friend for a decade. I've been talking with friends and family and I'm not getting anywhere really. I'm on the verge of tears right now, just hoping it's a phase he's in and will snap out of it before he does something he can't reverse.

 

I don't know why I'm posting this here. I just am really upset.

[+ MysticMenace]

I am sorry to hear about your situation, while I do not know the feeling of being a friend to someone that battles depression, I have been battling with chronic depression myself. What I can tell you is that during the worst times I have tended to close myself from others and shut myself in - nothing anybody could say or do would get me out of that dark place. It was something I had to realize and do for myself. I cannot say this is what is happening to your friend, but it may be a possibility.

 

However, what you said about him expressing not to wake up the next morning appears serious enough to warrant intervention. Unfortunately, I have not been in this situation to offer advice that works, but perhaps some things that could help:

• Do you know of any neighbors or mutual / common friends that can easily go and reach your friend? Perhaps they could check up on him in person just in case the potential suicidal tendencies worsen?
  
• Perhaps somebody in this forum has an idea, but I would think there are sites and hotlines for those who suffer from depression or those who have families and friends of someone who deals with it to solicit advice and guidance for this type of situation.
  
• If you think it is serious enough to warrant police intervention, calling 911 might still be an option.
  

I wish I could help any further, but that is all I could think of at the moment. Sending you and your friend positive vibes that this sad episode has a happy ending.

[+ LIguy]

I don't know if it's still being done but several years ago crisis intervention hotlines had a program where a counselor would call the person to try to offer support and help. You might want to start with the national suicide hotline and go from there.

[craigville beach]

A friend of mine recently got injured and has been on the mend. My friend lives on the other side of the country. So I can't visit but I have been in semi regular contact to check in via phone/text. I don't want to go into great detail, but my friend seemed to be sinking into depression. I do/did my best to make him see things will improve. It'll just take time to heal. Well I texted my friend today to check in.

 

Today he asked me to stop contacting him and to not take it personally. That he goes to bed and hopes not to wake up the next morning. I told him I'd respect his wishes but that he needed to go talk to a professional immediately. I told him I loved him.

 

I'm rather distraught. I really don't know what I can do. I love this guy, he's been a a good friend for a decade. I've been talking with friends and family and I'm not getting anywhere really. I'm on the verge of tears right now, just hoping it's a phase he's in and will snap out of it before he does something he can't reverse.

 

I don't know why I'm posting this here. I just am really upset.

 

 

how old is your friend? Call the local police and ask for a wellness check. Call the local Council on Aging or Elder Services and ask for a wellness check. Even if he isn't an "elder" he may be eligible for some assistance depending on the community.

[CuriousByNature]

Wow... I'm sorry to hear this. Has he expressed any intention to carry out a plan, or has he done anything that suggests he's saying goodbye (giving things away etc)? I know he said not to keep contacting him, and this puts you in a horribly stressful situation, but I'm hoping his wish of not waking up is him expressing his frustration with his situation and not actual suicidal ideation or tendencies. Whatever is going on, please be kind to yourself first and foremost, and realize that none of us can absolutely prevent someone from making tragic choices... but I sincerely hope he does not harm himself in any way. Maybe you are able to monitor things from afar, through mutual friends perhaps? Distance certainly makes things more complicated. Im sure he realizes you are there and willing to help, if and when he is ready to reach out. You've done everything correctly in my view, even if it seems there is more that could be done. You've let him know that you respect his wishes and that you love him, and perhaps that is just what he needs right now. I will be remembering you both in my thoughts and prayers. ?

[big-n-tall]

Thanks for to all for the advice and comforting thoughts. I'm trying to keep level headed about it to try not to be in a constant state of crying. I've lost a number of family friends this and last year from various health reasons. So this coming out of left field isn't helping me to cope very well.

 

He's in his late 30s. I'm not sure where he is currently. He was staying with relatives (whom I don't know). I don't know if he's even back home now, staying with relatives, or somewhere else entirely.

 

He didn't expressly state a plan or anything else besides saying he has been in a bad place the last few weeks and doesn't want to put me and others through the turmoil. I too hope it's just his frustrations with what's going on with the world and his injury. Either way, I don't take his statement(s) about not wanting to wake up, lightly. I texted him again, saying I can't just sit by and do nothing. I reiterated my support and love of him. I told him I wasn't upset he he felt the need to isolate himself, but I'd be saddened if he harmed himself. I supplied a prevention hotline number.

[CuriousByNature]

Thanks for to all for the advice and comforting thoughts. I'm trying to keep level headed about it to try not to be in a constant state of crying. I've lost a number of family friends this and last year from various health reasons. So this coming out of left field isn't helping me to cope very well.

 

He's in his late 30s. I'm not sure where he is currently. He was staying with relatives (whom I don't know). I don't know if he's even back home now, staying with relatives, or somewhere else entirely.

 

He didn't expressly state a plan or anything else besides saying he has been in a bad place the last few weeks and doesn't want to put me and others through the turmoil. I too hope it's just his frustrations with what's going on with the world and his injury. Either way, I don't take his statement(s) about not wanting to wake up, lightly. I texted him again, saying I can't just sit by and do nothing. I reiterated my support and love of him. I told him I wasn't upset he he felt the need to isolate himself, but I'd be saddened if he harmed himself. I supplied a prevention hotline number.

Well done. I think you did exactly the right thing.

[+ sync]

Thanks for to all for the advice and comforting thoughts. I'm trying to keep level headed about it to try not to be in a constant state of crying. I've lost a number of family friends this and last year from various health reasons. So this coming out of left field isn't helping me to cope very well.

 

He's in his late 30s. I'm not sure where he is currently. He was staying with relatives (whom I don't know). I don't know if he's even back home now, staying with relatives, or somewhere else entirely.

 

He didn't expressly state a plan or anything else besides saying he has been in a bad place the last few weeks and doesn't want to put me and others through the turmoil. I too hope it's just his frustrations with what's going on with the world and his injury. Either way, I don't take his statement(s) about not wanting to wake up, lightly. I texted him again, saying I can't just sit by and do nothing. I reiterated my support and love of him. I told him I wasn't upset he he felt the need to isolate himself, but I'd be saddened if he harmed himself. I supplied a prevention hotline number.

I would like to add my own sympathy and empathy to those of others for your situation. Overcoming depression is a steep climb on its own, and in these times more so with the entire country cloaked in a patchwork of depression. Your concern for your friend is understandable and you have responded admirably, but you have done all you can for him. You must now show yourself that same concern for your own depression. I wish you well and hope you keep us in the loop with your positive gains.