I think I messed up...

[Zeehr0]

I posted this in another thread, but I wanted to ask the question here because I feel really bad about the whole thing.

 

I’ve been told during a session or two that the escort doesn’t want to charge me but I always pay the base rate for what we agreed on.

 

But once a guy told me he didn’t want me to pay and it didn’t work out at all! The session was hanging around naked, watching porn, and talking a lot. He wasn’t able to get fully hard OR finish like we had planned, but he stayed for longer.

 

At the end, I paid him the rate for an hour based on the fact that he said he didn’t want me to pay him and that we should just hang out as friends next time. I thought he didn’t want me to pay full price because we just kinda hung around for the vast majority of the time and that he couldn’t perform the one sexual act we agreed on. But then he contacted me the next day angry about what I had actually paid him (the rate for an hour plus Ubers)...so I sent him 2x what I initially paid.

 

I was kinda confused and a bit disheartened by his anger. I feel really bad like I did something wrong to him. Do any escorts have an insight into this?

Edited October 26, 2020 by Zeehr0

[Jarrod_Uncut]

It sounds a bit confusing. Not you, but just in general. If he said let’s hang out as friends, and you paid him anyway...how can he be upset at what you paid him. Why did you feel to pay him, if he just wanted to hang out as friends and didn’t want pay? Was it perhaps, “I don’t want you as a client, but just friends” or do you think it was more of a “I enjoyed my time and you as a person so much, I don’t want to limit it to paid arrangement” kind of way or a “I don’t feel comfortable performing services with you” type of way? Because I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum as an escort, and have voiced it accordingly.

 

Were there perhaps some misinterpretations on either end?

Edited October 27, 2020 by Jarrod_Uncut

[AshburyGuy]

Why didn't you bring up the fact that he didn't want you to pay anything at all when he asked for more money the next day?

[AshburyGuy]

Why didn't you bring up the fact that he didn't want you to pay anything at all when he asked for more money the next day?

[Zeehr0]

I did bring it up, but I think I’m just getting scammed. He’s threatening to black-list me as a customer who doesn’t pay, make reports to a professional organization, and all sorts of other things. I still paid initially because it didn’t feel right not to.

[Daverwr]

Sounds like scamming to me. Either that, or he’s projecting his self-anger for not being able to perform. If that’s the case he has a lot to work on.

 

Personally, there is little that a provider could do to me to undermine my life other than a little embarrassment. Even when I had a job and a future, I never thought I was doing anything wrong.

[+ sync]

I did bring it up, but I think I’m just getting scammed. He’s threatening to black-list me as a customer who doesn’t pay, make reports to a professional organization, and all sorts of other things. I still paid initially because it didn’t feel right not to.

Stop responding, continuing to interact strengthens his hold. If his threats escalate, inform him that extortion is a felony in all states, and that you, too, can make reports to a professional organization.

[+ MakeMeCowboy]

He’s threatening to black-list me as a customer who doesn’t pay, make reports to a professional organization

Sounds like a HS slam book...

[maninsoma]

Something is either wrong with the provider or you misunderstood him when you thought he said not to pay him. I would also stop responding to this specific provider, but I would suggest this going forward: Unless you are okay with just paying guys to hang out (either paying a multiple of an hourly rate or negotiating a rate for a longer time period), make sure you initiate whatever activity you want to happen earlier in the session. It doesn't make sense to argue whose responsibility it is to make sure a session that's planned to only last an hour only lasts an hour; if that's your agreement at the beginning then you know you have a finite amount of time, so get the ball rolling earlier. Don't run the risk of creating a confusing situation where not much has happened after 60 minutes and the guy doesn't know you want him to stay around longer for free, for extra compensation, or perhaps you really just want him to leave because you aren't feeling a connection but don't have a nerve to say it.

[orville]

I think I’m just getting scammed.

He was probably too high and dry, but still horny from chems, so told you to just "hang out".

Next day, sober, he saw the opportunity to make some easy cash out of your good nature.

1. black-list me as a customer who doesn’t pay,

2. make reports to a professional organization,

3. and all sorts of other things.

1. To whom? Rentmen? The IRS?

2. Professional Organization of Escorts? You really made my day! ?

3. Yes Dorothy, you were scammed. Stop all communication, stay away, and move on.

[phildallas]

The ask for money the next day sounds like the actions of an addicted person without a hit and cash to me.

 

Blacklist you and report you to a prof org? Had that threat from a guy I walked out on because he looked nothing like the pics he used, and seemed like a meth head. Thretened to put my info on a email list shared by all the escorts in Dallas. No such list exists.

 

Block his phone number and email address.

[+ DynamicUno]

He was probably too high and dry, but still horny from chems, so told you to just "hang out".

Next day, sober, he saw the opportunity to make some easy cash out of your good nature.

 

1. To whom? Rentmen? The IRS?

2. Professional Organization of Escorts? You really made my day! ?

3. Yes Dorothy, you were scammed. Stop all communication, stay away, and move on.

 

I think maybe the OP meant the provider was threatening to file a report against the OP with a professional organization to which the OP might belong (i.e. of the provider knew the OP was a lawyer he'd threaten making a report to the bar association). It's definitely scammy behavior and may even cross the line into blackmail depending how the threat was stated. All the more reason to cut off any contact with the provider.