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Humble brags


purplekow
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Are you a humber braggart? I am considering whether or not I fit into this category and I am leaning toward the idea that I am. When I do something nice or considerate, I feel good about it. Given the opportunity, I mention it in the course of conversation. It is not that I go out of my way to inform people, but if the occasion arises, I do not censor myself.

As an example, in caring for a terminally ill patient, a hospital employee learned it was the patient's birthday. Knowing that this was likely to be his last birthday and that the patient did not have any close friends or family, the employee bought the man a birthday cake. The nursing staff and other employees brought to cake to the patient's room and they all sang the birthday song. The patient was quite emotional and said that he had never had a birthday cake.

Later, while the employee was having having a conversation, a passing employee thanked him for the cake. In response, the story was related, After hearing the story, it was suggested that the employee was a glory seeker. The employee then related the entire story to me and asked my opinion, My thought is that the story that exemplifies that being nice to someone may have much more meaning to them than the effort you put into it. The story was not brought up de novo only in response to an inquiry. But now I am thinking that perhaps that person was correct and that by relating that story was ia subtle request for validation and glory was expected.

So my question is, iwas this a humble brag disguised? If you do something nice for someone, is it self serving to mention it at all, even in a setting of a casual conversation. I think that a bigger person would have brushed off the inquiry and just continued with the conversation at hand. Opinions?

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Even if the person WAS 'glory seeking' there what kind of asshole accuses him of it like that? I mean, maybe there's a history between them or something so it's conceivable that's what the person was doing, but I wouldn't dream of lobbing that accusation at someone directly.

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I would guess that the person who did the act of kindness was not a glory seeker, but that the person who called him that may be the actual glory seeker. I dont think most people who would hear about an act of kindness would assume it was for personal glory, unless they themselves have sought attention by doing nice things for others.

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I remember a discussion in an "Ethics" class in college, if someone derives pleasure from what most would call a selfless act, is it truly selfless? That's a rabbit hole of discussion.

I suppose there is a difference though from deriving pleasure and deriving attention from an act of kindness, and also, whether or not someone is being kind for the primary purpose of getting pleasure themselves, or if that pleasure just happens to be a happy consequence of their actions.

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Not caring what other people think is the best decision you'll ever make.

And one that gets easier with age. I love no longer caring whether someone approves of my clothes, my looks, my opinions, or me.

 

It is, however, somewhat sad that this most liberating of attitudes comes so relatively late in life, or at least, in mine. Blessed be he who can have it sooner, being careful, of course, to not confuse it with rudeness or a callous disregard for others' honest sensibilities.

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