Do you share with others that you hire?

[+ 7829V]

Not sure if this has been discussed before.

I usually hire masseur and escorts once in a while. But I don't share this with my friends.

This forum is the only place that I talk about this.

I was wondering what others do? Do you casually share with your friends that you hire?

Or do you keep it to yourself? How do others react when you mention it?

I'm single and out to my friends and coworkers if that matters for this topic.

[jeezifonly]

When pressed, and after a wee drinkie, I may have mentioned ...something... about the occasional engagement of a private therapeutic bodywork provider. My words of praise were more clinical than I might use in proper reviews and private thoughts...and basta. I, for one, must save something for a scandalous memoir

[+ keroscenefire]

Very seldom. It did come up once in a guy I was dating. He had gone a long work trip and was gone for about 3 weeks and I hired a regular during that time. I was honest with him since I thought he should know if I had other sexual partners. But that would be the only circumstance for the most part. I work in education and I keep my personal life very private as a result.

[+ DrownedBoy]

I have a friend who also hires.

 

He's straight, but it's fun to exchange stories.

[+ Reisr30]

No

[myophile]

Only here — so far.

[+ harey]

@7829V I’m the same as you. Except a few providers became friends and I might discuss with them.

[KrisParr]

Only here and plan to keep it that way. A couple of friends (we are all out to each other) have ‘fessed up to hiring, but usually after a few beers. It’s really a don’t kiss-n-tell issue, and some things are better left private. It’s a challenge to keep the personal life separate because there’s always a chance it could negatively impact my business career.

[Luv2play]

I have only shared this with gay friends who also hire. It is sort of like a fraternity, where we don;t judge each other, except perhaps for the choices we make. Of course some of my friends are tops so we don’t use the same criteria anyway. And beauty is always in the eye of the beholder. One time I took a trip to New York with a friend who was also a bottom, and we arranged dates before we left Montreal. He told me before leaving he had made a date with an escort I had my eyes on also on Rentboy but he beat me to the punch. I ended up with choosing another guy, who became someone I so liked that we had numerous dates over the next 3 years, both in NYC and Miami. A case of noblesse oblige, I suppose, which turned out really well.

[sared85]

With close gay male friends only

[marylander1940]

I started hiring when a friend showed me the "personal services" of the Washington Blade and told me he had a great time with an escort... I said "why not?"

[rustyrex]

Once in a while, but I really have to trust the guy. Gay men are just as gossipy and catty as the women and you'd be surprised just how close the 6 degrees of separation really are to you. Sometimes a buddy and me will exchange notes but for the most part it doesn't come up. Hiring still holds a stigma to it instead of being looked at as a form of getting exactly what you need.

[+ WilliamM]

I have shared with gay and straight friends My closest straight friends are much more accepting than I expected. One female friend never talked to me again though.

[KrisParr]

Once in a while, but I really have to trust the guy. Gay men are just as gossipy and catty as the women and you'd be surprised just how close the 6 degrees of separation really are to you. Sometimes a buddy and me will exchange notes but for the most part it doesn't come up. Hiring still holds a stigma to it instead of being looked at as a form of getting exactly what you need.

 

Excellent point. Prior to hiring, I would go through all sorts of gyrations to find someone to date. And so, it would usually take a few encounters to meet someone, then the expense of dating, and the amount of time spent until you “scored” so to speak. Direct hiring from a catalog just brings the result sooner, possibly less expensive and much better chance of finding what you started out seeking in the first place. The downside is that it’s a business transaction.

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

I have shared with three friends:

1. A gay friend who asked me why I traveled to often to a specific city.
   
2. Another gay friend who was commenting that his massage provider was no longer available and needed a substitute. He knew I frequently got massages. When I was hesitated providing a name, I explained that my recent massages had lacked some of the technical skills he was desiring,
   
3. My personal trainer when I brought a visiting escort to the gym for my workout.
   

[Milo Farnsworth]

Yes, in a sober group in which I belong.

Edited August 27, 2020 by Milo Farnsworth

[jeezifonly]

Once in a while, but I really have to trust the guy. Gay men are just as gossipy and catty as the women and you'd be surprised just how close the 6 degrees of separation really are to you. Sometimes a buddy and me will exchange notes but for the most part it doesn't come up. Hiring still holds a stigma to it instead of being looked at as a form of getting exactly what you need.

 

I work(ed) within an industry that has always had lots of gay men, including several coworkers who cruise every hookup and hooker page - two of my (former) work comrades had shown up on an old rent-boy conglomerate page (m4m4rent??) and one of them I’d have hired if I had the money...

But word ALWAYS got out if someone had nudes, or kinks in profile or on display. Or if someone had admitted they hired. Gossip gossip!!!

Pick a little, talk a little, pick a little, talk a little...

God I miss ‘em...

[+ Charlie]

I never discuss anything specific about my sexual activity except with all you fellow sluts here. However, I have been open about my sexual orientation, with family, friends, co-workers, etc., since the mid-1960s.

[wklukas]

In addition to family & some close friends, with whom I have zero reasons to keep secrets from —

I have an assistant (John-Paul / JP) who assists in both my biz life & my personal life.....

In order to do his job properly / fully and to organize / arrange my usually pretty full (busy) schedule, he pretty much needs to know when I want “private” time or want to be left alone / not disturbed.....he’s stayed with me now for over 12 years (the job pays pretty well).....& nearly from the beginning it’s always been easier to have him know what I’m up to / what I’m planning....

 

since the start of covid, like almost everybody else, the comings & goings in my life have been much different.....JP remains on-call to me whenever needed but has basically been given time away with full pay this whole time.....actually we have a house in the family down south (in Newport Coast) which is empty most all of the time.....a short while back, with my ok, for a change of pace away from San Francisco JP spent a few weeks chilling in the OC....I was hanging with family in Israel so my needs for his time were close to nil....

now I’m back in SF.....JP is back in SF....for the moment, we’re both dressed up but with no place to go.....word from my office though - plans are being made that might (safely) change things back to being busy & on the move again before too much longer.

[adventurous old guy]

Very timely thread for me, here's why:

 

I share only here and with my husband, who gave me permission and encouragement to play when away in the olden days, i.e. until March 2020 when I traveled a lot for work. He's a wonderful man, whose attitude about this was basically, don't cheat on me where we live (Chicago), but go have fun when you're away, be safe, learn something new, bring it home and show me! Now I'm stranded at home, and really miss the thrill of new partners, or as my husband teasingly calls them, "brief sharing experiences." Lol, he's a wit.

 

Anyway, don't want to cheat but am pondering renegotiating the terms of engagement. Yet there's Covid, and my husband and I both work in healthcare, which means we're at enhanced risk for catching and spreading, and really shouldn't play with others now. And just to add spice to the stew, a former employee, who infiltrated my email 15 years ago when she realized I was going to fire her, found things there about this hobby of mine, and tried to use it as leverage in an employment discrimination case, which failed because, duh, I'm gay and never hit on her or, more precisely, never responded when she hit on me. She just raised her ugly head -- and by ugly, I mean chronically unhappy, probably alcoholic and arguably sociopathic -- and again threatened to expose my interest in this hobby! Not worried much about that because I work for myself, but all in all wondering if the universe is trying to tell me to retire, move with my husband to a country that's actually managing Covid risk, and have a lot of sex there while we still can get it up!!!

 

Bottom line, I could use some perspective from others, and maybe will get some here, lol?

Edited August 27, 2020 by adventurous old guy

[MscleLovr]

wondering if the universe is trying to tell me to retire, move with my husband to a country that's actually managing Covid risk, and have a lot of sex there

 

Why not? My view is that life is short and meant to be enjoyed. Just ensure your finances permit you to live as you intend - think about inflation-proofing, paying for healthcare if/when either of you is ill, and the currency risks attached to living abroad.

[MscleLovr]

To answer the OP, when I was single and I hired, I told a couple of gay male friends.

 

I’ve always been open about my sexuality but I wouldn’t as @7829V asked

casually share with your friends that you hire

Over time, I shared also with 3 regulars that I hired. It was interesting to hear from them that each had been surprised how few clients repeated. (I should add that all 3 were handsome, in great physical shape and sexually versatile). Their experience was that many men did not want a ‘regular’ for dates but sought to hire a new guy each time

[+ Lucky]

On our sexual behavior, I doubt many men share with their friends. We know that men masturbate, but how often do you hear someone in person talking about his activity?

[+ poolboy48220]

I discuss hiring with one friend, someone I hung out with at the stripper boy bar; he also hires escorts and like me, has taken some of the boys from the bar home. I have another couple of good friends who wouldn't be shocked to hear it (one of them said once "I've paid for sex, and I've been paid for it"), but I think they'd let it slip to others, so I've never told them.

[wklukas]

On our sexual behavior, I doubt many men share with their friends. We know that men masturbate, but how often do you hear someone in person talking about his activity?

 

Have you ever been out of Smallville, KS ?

the brothels in Nevada aside, in many countries & cultures around the world, prostitution is legal & there is no stigma attached to hiring & no reason for secrecy, embarrassment, shame, etc., etc on the part of the one doing the hiring.......discussion among friends, etc. commonly happens openly & frankly....

however fair warning in case you ever do some foreign travel.....some countries / some cultures do mete out punishment for gay sexual activity - whether for free or for hire - some places the punishment can still be ummmmmm, severe / brutal....life-changing, errrr ending.