Helping with client's self image: yes way or no way?

[Jarrod_Uncut]

So...the other day I had a heartfelt conversation with a client "friend" of mine. That is, a client who I am also friends with. Long story short: we've had several great encounters over the past year, and got to know each other better. It wasn't a relationship, but we had talked about working out an arrangement, which would involve exchanging for some time spent.

 

However, I was starting to notice that image wise... it felt like he had let himself go over the years. And that's an understatement. And I understand as an escort, we have to be able to look past a person's flaws and shortcomings. But I told him politely, there's only so far I can go with that. There is a difference between something you can control, versus something a person simply chooses not to bother with. In his case, I told him he has the right package going for himself...fit, conscious about his eating habits; but that his dental health was a concern for me.

 

I asked him some questions about his dental history, and included mine. And in the nicest way without trying to offend him, I told him that I feel he should consider his dentist's advice about getting into some type of dental plan. Granted, he's an older guy... and I understand nobody looks the same year after year. But I felt he had let himself go to a point where it's like, "I don't care, and I hope you don't care that I don't care, about how I look either".

 

I know nobody is perfect. And most times I rarely base in a client's looks as a factor in performance or eligibility lol. But, it only goes so far if someone has clear hygiene or physical issues. Like, who's going to suck a dick that has smelly yellow discharge and sores (not this guy, but hypothetically speaking), and say: "don't worry, I won't judge you". I'll say, "you need to see a doctor". And likewise, oral sex or kissing may be difficult if someone neglects their oral upkeep. The reasons I brought it up were because our arrangement would involve continuing having sessions, but I also genuinely cared about his well being and personal/business growth.

 

However since then, he told me he was offended (this conversation was in person) and he has gone unresponsive to important texts. Which makes me feel like maybe he wasn't receptive to my honesty and realness about how it affects our dynamic. Thoughts?

Edited August 13, 2020 by Jarrod_Uncut

[CuriousByNature]

So...the other day I had a heartfelt conversation with a client "friend" of mine. That is, a client who I am also friends with. Long story short: we've had several great encounters over the past year, and got to know each other better. It wasn't a relationship, but we had talked about working out an arrangement, which would involve exchanging for some time spent.

 

However, I was starting to notice that image wise... it felt like he had let himself go over the years. And that's an understatement. And I understand as an escort, we have to be able to look past a person's flaws and shortcomings. But I told him politely, there's only so far I can go with that. There is a difference between something you can control, versus something a person simply chooses not to bother with. In his case, I told him he has the right package going for himself...fit, conscious about his eating habits; but that his dental health was a concern for me.

 

I asked him some questions about his dental history, and included mine. And in the nicest way without trying to offend him, I told him that I feel he should consider his dentist's advice about getting into some type of dental plan. Granted, he's an older guy... and I understand nobody looks the same year after year. But I felt he had let himself go to a point where it's like, "I don't care, and I hope you don't care that I don't care, about how I look either".

 

I know nobody is perfect. And most times I rarely base in a client's looks as a factor in performance or eligibility lol. But, it only goes so far if someone has clear hygiene or physical issues. Like, who's going to suck a dick that has smelly yellow discharge and sores (not this guy, but hypothetically speaking), and say: "don't worry, I won't judge you". I'll say, "you need to see a doctor". And likewise, oral sex or kissing may be difficult if someone neglects their oral upkeep. The reasons I brought it up were because our arrangement would involve continuing having sessions, but I also genuinely cared about his well being and personal/business growth.

 

However since then, he told me he was offended (this conversation was in person) and he has gone unresponsive to important texts. Which makes me feel like maybe he wasn't receptive to my honesty and realness about how it affects our dynamic. Thoughts?

Dental hygiene is important on a variety of levels, especially for older individuals. In addition to the cosmetic/aesthetic issues that poor hygiene can cause, there can be physical health implications for those who do not take care of their dental/oral health - particularly infections that can affect the jaw bones and even get into the bloodstream. You may want to reach out again and reiterate that your concern is for his well-being and that you do not want to lose his friendship, but that you are willing to risk losing the friendship if it means keeping him safe. Just a thought.

[Monarchy79]

Oh dear grasshopper,

 

You should know by know that people generally don’t like the truth. lol

 

Most friendships, courtships, arrangements,entanglements, and relationships are based on pleasant untruths, or purposeful omissions of obvious things that may hurt the other person’s feelings.

 

Remember that your interaction with this guy started from a transactional arrangement, that gave him a sense of confidence, by being entertained by you. By your remaining silent on his dental issues, he could continue to ignore the issue and maintain some level of denial and cognitive dissonance, and feel great about himself.

 

Your honesty was literally like snatching a blanket off of a cold naked body in the middle of the night. You exposed him with ultimate truth, which is hard for him to face.

 

Always be careful with the truth and it’s impacts. In life, determine which option will have the better result for you (and others), and if it’s telling a few little soft lies, then lie.

 

I know this from experience, as I used to be “Mr. Honesty”. It got me a lot of respect, but got me a lot of bitter, damaged haters too.

 

Now I’m nice, unbothered, conveniently dishonest when it helps someone else “save face”, and we all win. They get to peacefully live in their delusions, and I get to be the “Nice Guy”. ☺️

[Monarchy79]

@Jarrod_Uncut :

 

If you ever run into a similar situation in the future,

 

here’s a perfectly scripted response baby:

 

“I’ve known you for so long, and truly cherish our friendship the way that it is. I don’t want to risk damaging that by changing that...Hope you under stand.”

???

[Luv2play]

Oh I truly feel for you. This is one issue I could not overlook in a physical relationship with another person. Oral hygiene is as important as any other aspect of one’s physical health. Since I am a very passionate kisser, I could not bring myself to kiss someone as you described. I’m 73 and have perfect teeth, but I go to a dentist 4 times a year and also have an excellent diet. Still have all my teeth except for the molars which were taken out when I was 25. I know its expensive to keep up with one’s teeth and I am fortunate in that my parents started me at an early age to have regular checkups. I think I can still remember every dentist visit I have ever made and the names of all my dentists down through the years. I was in touch with my dentist this week to start resuming visits and was shocked that I will have to wait 3 months to see him. I put myself on his cancellation list in case someone has to cancel.

[Luv2play]

Oh yes, and I floss every day.

[H43825]

I would appreciate the honesty. If it is something I can improve on I would like to.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

Thanks for replies to all. I was almost hesitant to post, thinking I'd get slammed lol. But, I just think it's an often hushed discussion. I think people feel we as escorts should be able to "take everyone as they are." As if we are doctors, dentist, and therapist ourselves. And that's just simply not the case. The difference being, we actually have to have sex, and be intimate with clients. Clients have to get approval from me lol. It gets to a point where, I realized I don't have to see every client, or perform certain services (kissing, rimming, bareback) if it's going to pose a health concern due to neglected hygiene, or gross me out beyond what I can handle. There's also a whole lot of clients out there who take very good care of themselves, even if they are 60s and 70s. So I know age alone doesn't determine someone's presentation.

 

I don't care about some extra pounds (in fact, I find cubs, bears and chubs are fun sex lol), or imperfections here and there. We all have em. And many times, I can tune out and ignore those things. But considering the client and I have gotten to know each other more in depth, it was becoming very hard to ignore. And it's not some unavoidable health condition, he said it exact: it doesn't bother "HIM". And THAT actually offended me lol. It's like if someone farts in a library, or drives 20 in a 70. If it doesn't bother me, too bad for you lol. Accept me anyway.

 

Anyhow: He finally responded back after a couple of days...and it wasn't pretty lol. He started off saying he didn't want to do business with me anymore and never wanted to see me again, but I made it a case that I wasn't not intending to belittle or criticize him, but rather be honest as a FRIEND and his "partner"...and realize that it's not only affecting my ability to be sexual with him, but unnecessarily detracting from his overall image. Eventually we reasoned, and I was able to get him to see he was being irrational (our business deal is beyond sex, so to cut ties now, would affect that arrangement). So, we aren't on bad terms, but he does know we have to step back from the intimate side of things for now.

 

@Monarchy79 you make a good point about letting people live in delusion. But, in this case I couldn't do it because he has been offering to assist with something I've been working on, but he often would allude that I could simply just pay him back in appointments. And I needed to let him know, if that's the case: he needed to consider at-least 1 thing to help improve his looks. I'm not going to be having sex with someone who's not doing anything to be presentable. I don't even know when the last time he's had a haircut. I was physically seeing, that he was letting himself go, perhaps the coronavirus stuff isn't helping...but I wouldn't repeatedly torture myself having sex with someone who seems to not notice or care that he's looking worse than he actually is.

Edited August 14, 2020 by Jarrod_Uncut

[dbar123]

Honesty is a prized commodity...and becoming rarer these days. You did your ex-client a favor. Sometimes the truth is painful.

 

You have every right to feel bad about it but you did the right thing. It sucks that the outcome is not what you hoped for. That's life.

 

I wish you were my friend.

[+ poolboy48220]

I'm going to go against the consensus here, and stick with what I read in Miss Manners years ago. In response to a question from someone who was wondering about pointing out a friend's recent weight gain, she responded (I paraphrase her), "What did you expect? Your friend's going to say "Oh my gosh, I didn't realize! I'm going right back to the fridge to throw out that Sara Lee Cheesecake that I was going to eat this afternoon!" There's so little chance that he's not aware of his teeth's condition that I would never have mentioned it.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

There's so little chance that he's not aware of his teeth's condition that I would never have mentioned it.

 

That may be true, but here's the thing: when I told him about how it has affected my ability to be intimate with him, he gave the bombshell reply of: "well it doesn't bother me".

 

I had nearly fell out of my chair. So it's like he may know the condition, but choose not to fix it, because as long as it doesn't bother him...too bad if his sex partners don't like it, just be into me regardless. It's almost sadly arrogant. I think on the contrary, he didn't know...but might have imagined otherwise.

 

Like I said, I know how it is to be criticized. And especially unsolicited criticism. But there's a difference between flagrant "opinions" spewing out of someone's ass (which most gay guys are perfect at doing, before they even know the situation), versus a heart to heart suggestion as a friend, saying: "hey, we need to have a discussion about this, because it's making it hard to be around you. Is it something we can work on?"

 

And I told him, I struggled with that myself. Criticism from people, sometimes harsh and unnecessary (which isn't what I wanted to do), but some helpful critiques and having someone make suggestions, ultimately helped me get better.

 

Honesty is a prized commodity...and becoming rarer these days. You did your ex-client a favor. Sometimes the truth is painful.

 

You have every right to feel bad about it but you did the right thing. It sucks that the outcome is not what you hoped for. That's life.

 

I wish you were my friend.

 

So true. When someone is ready to receive it of course. And many people rather ghost in silence, than to be an adult and face rubbing someone wrong and ultimately, being rejected themselves. I just wanted some insight into what's holding him back from being proactive about his looks.

Edited August 15, 2020 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Lazarus]

As Wendy Williams would say: “This relationship is over. Time to move on”.

[AceHardware]

I had nearly fell out of my chair. So it's like he may know the condition, but choose not to fix it, because as long as it doesn't bother him...too bad if his sex partners don't like it, just be into me regardless. It's almost sadly arrogant. I think on the contrary, he didn't know...but might have imagined otherwise.

 

This forum often talks about how both clients and providers need to take a shower before meeting, because who wants to get close to a smelly person? (OK, some do, most don't.) This oral hygiene situation seems to fall in that same category, even though a simple shower won't take care of it.

 

Anyway, Jarrod, I think you were brave and mature in bringing it up, and it sounds like you were as tactful as possible, so I applaud you. And broaching any sensitive topic in any kind of relationship is always a risk: with someone else it might have worked, or if this person were in a different frame of mind, it might have worked. At least you tried.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

As Wendy Williams would say: “This relationship is over. Time to move on”.

 

lol, I’ve actually been able to get him to cool it a bit...and the tone wasn’t as “dramatic” as previously. Idk what the fuck was going thru his head. but we’ve not had the in person chat yet. Will be doing so this week though.

 

 

This forum often talks about how both clients and providers need to take a shower before meeting, because who wants to get close to a smelly person? (OK, some do, most don't.) This oral hygiene situation seems to fall in that same category, even though a simple shower won't take care of it.

 

Anyway, Jarrod, I think you were brave and mature in bringing it up, and it sounds like you were as tactful as possible, so I applaud you. And broaching any sensitive topic in any kind of relationship is always a risk: with someone else it might have worked, or if this person were in a different frame of mind, it might have worked. At least you tried.

 

And I get it 100%. I know how it is to be offended about criticism. And as long as somebody isn’t doing it in front of others or doing so in an aggressive way (like people have done to me, and came off as proper assholes lol), I think it can only help in the long run.

 

Next time we speak, I’m going to ask him: would you rather have someone who can be authentic and real around, or would you rather have someone who’s going to be artificial and fake, and then talk shit behind your back later? I would hate that.

 

But as @Monarchy79 said in another thread of mine, some people don’t want that reality. They reach a point where they don’t realize or don’t care. And that’s not picking on or making fun of clients who aren’t beauty queens per say. But if they are atleast aware and in tune to their overall self image, that can create a better escort/client dynamic.

 

Like I said, the misconception that we're being paid to deal with poor hygiene, or clients extreme health neglects...needs to be crushed. I don't care if a guy is not attractive, but if he at-least takes care of himself, that's all that is important. I've met non-beauty queen clients who were still fun to play with, because they didn't neglect self awareness.

 

But I had a client few months ago who had an extreme case of butt warts....and wanted to get fucked before his surgery. I was fine until it seen his ass. And it wasn't clean. I lost my hard on completely. Fortunately I had a "helper" in my bag, and some condoms. And bleach. And boiling water. I was absolutely not fucking him, even despite the fact HPV is common in most everyone sexually active.

Edited August 18, 2020 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Rudynate]

So...the other day I had a heartfelt conversation with a client "friend" of mine. That is, a client who I am also friends with. Long story short: we've had several great encounters over the past year, and got to know each other better. It wasn't a relationship, but we had talked about working out an arrangement, which would involve exchanging for some time spent.

 

However, I was starting to notice that image wise... it felt like he had let himself go over the years. And that's an understatement. And I understand as an escort, we have to be able to look past a person's flaws and shortcomings. But I told him politely, there's only so far I can go with that. There is a difference between something you can control, versus something a person simply chooses not to bother with. In his case, I told him he has the right package going for himself...fit, conscious about his eating habits; but that his dental health was a concern for me.

 

I asked him some questions about his dental history, and included mine. And in the nicest way without trying to offend him, I told him that I feel he should consider his dentist's advice about getting into some type of dental plan. Granted, he's an older guy... and I understand nobody looks the same year after year. But I felt he had let himself go to a point where it's like, "I don't care, and I hope you don't care that I don't care, about how I look either".

 

I know nobody is perfect. And most times I rarely base in a client's looks as a factor in performance or eligibility lol. But, it only goes so far if someone has clear hygiene or physical issues. Like, who's going to suck a dick that has smelly yellow discharge and sores (not this guy, but hypothetically speaking), and say: "don't worry, I won't judge you". I'll say, "you need to see a doctor". And likewise, oral sex or kissing may be difficult if someone neglects their oral upkeep. The reasons I brought it up were because our arrangement would involve continuing having sessions, but I also genuinely cared about his well being and personal/business growth.

 

However since then, he told me he was offended (this conversation was in person) and he has gone unresponsive to important texts. Which makes me feel like maybe he wasn't receptive to my honesty and realness about how it affects our dynamic. Thoughts?

 

 

Blurring boundaries - generally not a good thing. As an escort, if you expect to be successful, you have to look past things like poor dental health. As his partner, you can reasonably expect him to maintain himself in a way that you can be attracted to or at least live with. So now, if I understand you, you and he have developed this hybrid arrangement where you are client and escort sometimes and boyfriends sometimes. So sometimes, one set of standards is operative and sometimes another set of standards is operative. So you have to know when to flip the escort switch and when to flip the BF switch. He has to know when to flip the client switch and when to flip the BF switch. The client standard, for him, is much more ,forgiving, so naturally he's going to prefer it, even when he should be conforming to the more demanding BF standard. That's a whole lot of ambiguity.

 

I predict you will walk away from this predicament in frustration and you will lose a client.

[Luv2play]

I'm going to go against the consensus here, and stick with what I read in Miss Manners years ago. In response to a question from someone who was wondering about pointing out a friend's recent weight gain, she responded (I paraphrase her), "What did you expect? Your friend's going to say "Oh my gosh, I didn't realize! I'm going right back to the fridge to throw out that Sara Lee Cheesecake that I was going to eat this afternoon!" There's so little chance that he's not aware of his teeth's condition that I would never have mentioned it.

Miss Manners wasn’t always right.

[coriolis888]

So...the other day I had a heartfelt conversation with a client "friend" of mine. That is, a client who I am also friends with. Long story short: we've had several great encounters over the past year, and got to know each other better. It wasn't a relationship, but we had talked about working out an arrangement, which would involve exchanging for some time spent.

 

However, I was starting to notice that image wise... it felt like he had let himself go over the years. And that's an understatement. And I understand as an escort, we have to be able to look past a person's flaws and shortcomings. But I told him politely, there's only so far I can go with that. There is a difference between something you can control, versus something a person simply chooses not to bother with. In his case, I told him he has the right package going for himself...fit, conscious about his eating habits; but that his dental health was a concern for me.

 

I asked him some questions about his dental history and included mine. And in the nicest way without trying to offend him, I told him that I feel he should consider his dentist's advice about getting into some type of dental plan. Granted, he's an older guy... and I understand nobody looks the same year after year. But I felt he had let himself go to a point where it's like, "I don't care, and I hope you don't care that I don't care, about how I look either".

 

I know nobody is perfect. And most times I rarely base in a client's looks as a factor in performance or eligibility lol. But, it only goes so far if someone has clear hygiene or physical issues. Like, who's going to suck a dick that has smelly yellow discharge and sores (not this guy, but hypothetically speaking), and say: "don't worry, I won't judge you". I'll say, "you need to see a doctor". And likewise, oral sex or kissing may be difficult if someone neglects their oral upkeep. The reasons I brought it up were because our arrangement would involve continuing to have sessions, but I also genuinely cared about his well being and personal/business growth.

 

However, since then, he told me he was offended (this conversation was in person) and he has gone unresponsive to important texts. Which makes me feel like maybe he wasn't receptive to my honesty and realness about how it affects our dynamic. Thoughts?

 

 

 

Have you considered his lack of good dental hygiene a psychological effect of the virus and isolation?

 

You said in addition to neglecting his dental care, he also has allowed his hair to go unkempt.

 

His lack of concern for his appearance could be a form of depression that many are feeling as a result of drastic changes to our lives because of the virus.

 

Not since the 1918 pandemic have Americans been isolated and deprived as they are now. Some people simply let themselves go in many ways because of the isolation and drastic changes brought on by the virus.

[TruthBTold]

One of the things that is unfortunate in this country is that much of the health care, including Medicare, does not fund patients dental preventative care or subsequent dental work. And dental work tends to be extremely expensive so not everyone can afford to get good dental care.

[KrisParr]

No, I am not a dentist nor do I own any stock. As**n Dental has 800 offices nationwide and offer all sorts of payment options and plans. And there are others just like As**n. I referred a co-worker a couple of years ago who desperately needed help based on a tv commercial. I’d do it again - he has thanked me a lot and I get occasional updates, like dude, TMI.

[Monarchy79]

One of the things that is unfortunate in this country is that much of the health care, including Medicare, does not fund patients dental preventative care or subsequent dental work. And dental work tends to be extremely expensive so not everyone can afford to get good dental care.

 

If you can have a regular arrangement with an escort, masseur, CMT, or other “personal services” provider, then the affordability issue with dental care is moot.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

I actually forgot about this thread, pardon if it seemed I was not vested in the replies. Well, here goes:

 

If you can have a regular arrangement with an escort, masseur, CMT, or other “personal services” provider, then the affordability issue with dental care is moot.

 

Well, I’ll say $200-$300 for an hour every once in awhile isn’t quite in the same boat as $30,000 for implants and/or whatever dental plan is lol.

 

 

Blurring boundaries - generally not a good thing. As an escort, if you expect to be successful, you have to look past things like poor dental health. As his partner, you can reasonably expect him to maintain himself in a way that you can be attracted to or at least live with. So now, if I understand you, you and he have developed this hybrid arrangement where you are client and escort sometimes and boyfriends sometimes. So sometimes, one set of standards is operative and sometimes another set of standards is operative. So you have to know when to flip the escort switch and when to flip the BF switch. He has to know when to flip the client switch and when to flip the BF switch. The client standard, for him, is much more ,forgiving, so naturally he's going to prefer it, even when he should be conforming to the more demanding BF standard. That's a whole lot of ambiguity.

 

I predict you will walk away from this predicament in frustration and you will lose a client.

 

Well, I agree but likewise beg to differ. Just because I can “look past” something doesn’t mean “I should think it, but shouldn’t say anything”. Again, what kind of person would I be to notice something about someone which could be detrimental to their health and presentation, and not atleast ask if the person has considered it or even aware of it?

 

But since you asked: ever since this topic, he confided in me that he has made some recent dental visits. One was such that involved getting some simple but relatively major procedure done. However it was more routine than cosmetic. So it doesn’t address the image part at all.

 

I also want to clear you up: we are NOT boyfriends. Let’s just get that straight. I’m not playing boyfriend. If anything we are 2 men who happen to know each other, who have an occasional sexual encounter, and he gives me hand financially at times, BUT he is also not my sugar daddy because I make my own money and pay my own bills. Not fuck buddies, not boyfriend. Only defined as stated previously. Some interactions just don’t always have a label attached.

 

And this is something we’ve discussed in person as well. I understand some like the type company regardless. I do however know of a former/once in a blue moon client I meet who has regular sessions with an escort to a point that they’ve become “boyfriends” in some ways, taking care of each other’s cats and gardens. The escort is mid 40s but fairly hot, and mixed race. My client friend is in 60s and isn’t “ugly”, but isn’t a beauty queen either by any stretch.

 

Hate to sound gossipy by bringing that up, but it’s just an example. There are guys out there who have clients as unofficial “boyfriends” and it just works. In my case, I like to keep my options open to guys my age and younger simply because, I spent a lot of my 20s dating older men...and taking it too seriously only to realize they were just enjoying feeling like they had their “groove” back.

Edited September 4, 2020 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Jarrod_Uncut]

One of the things that is unfortunate in this country is that much of the health care, including Medicare, does not fund patients dental preventative care or subsequent dental work. And dental work tends to be extremely expensive so not everyone can afford to get good dental care.

 

That’s true. But it’s also a stark reminder as to why it’s important to take care early on. In this guy’s case, I think he might have took on an approach of avoiding any major cosmetic work because it (in his words) doesn’t bother him. So it wasn’t just a money issue, it was a “this is how I am” issue.

 

Which I get it 100%. Accept people for who they are. BUT... some people could benefit from having an honest person in their circle. Then again, some people just don’t give a fuck and there’s nothing much that can be done. You either want to make yourself look better, or you don’t. He can’t tell me he looks in the mirror everyday and thinks: “I’m doing my best to be attractive to my sexual partners“.

 

So then, what can one expect? If he not trying to keep up on his appearance, or wants to know what can be done to make himself more appealing, then I’m not obligated to look past things that are just plain unhygienic. And it’s not an age thing. There’s guys in their 60s and 70s who may not be beauty pageant models, but you can tell they are in tune to their looks. Think Joe Biden versus Donald Trump. You can tell Biden tries to make sure he’s looking silver daddy status daily ?

 

Edited September 4, 2020 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Eleven11]

So then, what can one expect? If he not trying to keep up on his appearance, or wants to know what can be done to make himself more appealing, then I’m not obligated to look past things that are just plain unhygienic. And it’s not an age thing. There’s guys in their 60s and 70s who may not be beauty pageant models, but you can tell they are in tune to their looks. Think Joe Biden versus Donald Trump. You can tell Biden tries to make sure he’s looking silver daddy status daily ?

 

 

yeah. he did look good nearly 10 years ago when that photo was actually taken....

[TruthBTold]

That’s true. But it’s also a stark reminder as to why it’s important to take care early on. In this guy’s case, I think he might have took on an approach of avoiding any major cosmetic work because it (in his words) doesn’t bother him. So it wasn’t just a money issue, it was a “this is how I am” issue.

 

Which I get it 100%. Accept people for who they are. BUT... some people could benefit from having an honest person in their circle. Then again, some people just don’t give a fuck and there’s nothing much that can be done. You either want to make yourself look better, or you don’t. He can’t tell me he looks in the mirror everyday and thinks: “I’m doing my best to be attractive to my sexual partners“.

 

So then, what can one expect? If he not trying to keep up on his appearance, or wants to know what can be done to make himself more appealing, then I’m not obligated to look past things that are just plain unhygienic. And it’s not an age thing. There’s guys in their 60s and 70s who may not be beauty pageant models, but you can tell they are in tune to their looks. Think Joe Biden versus Donald Trump. You can tell Biden tries to make sure he’s looking silver daddy status daily ?

 

 

While I really, really don't care I think that he probably has had some work done. Probably very little. I think that it has been a good thing for him that he has taken the train home every night to have time with his kids. I am sure it was a good way to get work done and then to just relax and think about things.

[Rudynate]

I actually forgot about this thread, pardon if it seemed I was not vested in the replies. Well, here goes:

 

 

 

Well, I’ll say $200-$300 for an hour every once in awhile isn’t quite in the same boat as $30,000 for implants and/or whatever dental plan is lol.

 

 

 

 

Well, I agree but likewise beg to differ. Just because I can “look past” something doesn’t mean “I should think it, but shouldn’t say anything”. Again, what kind of person would I be to notice something about someone which could be detrimental to their health and presentation, and not atleast ask if the person has considered it or even aware of it?

 

But since you asked: ever since this topic, he confided in me that he has made some recent dental visits. One was such that involved getting some simple but relatively major procedure done. However it was more routine than cosmetic. So it doesn’t address the image part at all.

 

I also want to clear you up: we are NOT boyfriends. Let’s just get that straight. I’m not playing boyfriend. If anything we are 2 men who happen to know each other, who have an occasional sexual encounter, and he gives me hand financially at times, BUT he is also not my sugar daddy because I make my own money and pay my own bills. Not fuck buddies, not boyfriend. Only defined as stated previously. Some interactions just don’t always have a label attached.

 

And this is something we’ve discussed in person as well. I understand some like the type company regardless. I do however know of a former/once in a blue moon client I meet who has regular sessions with an escort to a point that they’ve become “boyfriends” in some ways, taking care of each other’s cats and gardens. The escort is mid 40s but fairly hot, and mixed race. My client friend is in 60s and isn’t “ugly”, but isn’t a beauty queen either by any stretch.

 

Hate to sound gossipy by bringing that up, but it’s just an example. There are guys out there who have clients as unofficial “boyfriends” and it just works. In my case, I like to keep my options open to guys my age and younger simply because, I spent a lot of my 20s dating older men...and taking it too seriously only to realize they were just enjoying feeling like they had their “groove” back.

 

 

 

I just don't offer advice very much at all. Once in a while if the issue is really compelling I may give unsolicited advice, but it's extremely rare. One would think that people would appreciate being told the truth but that's not always the case. For myself, I would rather someone stayed out of it until I invite their opinion.