Missed appointments, by way of not responding.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

I refer to the ones who make contact, usually asking about an appointment on the same day. I return the message, include details, and then get no response.

 

I had a prospective client who has done the same thing, 2 or 3 other times. First contact was in January, second was in May, and then again yesterday (June). Each time, his first message would be, “Hi this is (name) in (insert city), I’m wondering if you are available for an appointment this afternoon”. I would then respond, give my info and find out how we can arrange. He would reply back once or twice, and then nothing.

 

On the 2nd time, I thanked him for reaching out...but explained that I recall he previously reached out to me back in January, and didn’t follow up. I also said I don’t host (because they always want me to host) short notice appointments when in town, and that I need advance notice. He explains why he couldn’t reply back (and it wasn’t a good excuse at that), but then once again didn’t respond when trying to arrange over a course of a couple days.

 

That was back in May. Then come yesterday, he hits me up again, saying we tried to meet before...but if I can meet last minute. So I once again tell him the same thing that I told him in May, about me needing advanced notice. I mentioned I could meet soon if he hosted, but I would need more time to go over to the location where I host. Sure enough, I got no response.

 

So at this point, he’s flushed toilet paper to me. Reached out later that evening, and told him he needs to reimburse me for this last “false start” he keeps doing. His excuse? He didn’t actually set up an appointment. But does it matter? He’s contacted me 3 times over the course of 6 months, and bailed on each. That comes off to me, like he really doesn’t value or care much about connecting.

 

As a client and/or provider (since it seems this goes on both sides of the fence), how many chances do you allow for people who initiate an engagement, but then just bail out after the first or 2nd text?

Edited June 25, 2020 by Jarrod_Uncut

[+ peterhung85]

I don't think that there is a magic number. Every person's situation varies. However based on your particular example above, it sounds like you should just either block or ignore to that particular gentleman from now on.

[Lazarus]

I usually book someone last minute (same day). It is rare that I initiate a conversation with someone & not book them. I would never intentionally not show up. Although, there were several times I wish I hadn’t.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

I've recently re-did my ads to include 3 ABC's of booking me. It's very simple yet very specific about everything that needs mentioning lately (and for a minute, the calls and requests were being normal until they said it's safe to go out again ?

 

A: advanced notice (even if it says available now, which needs to be changed to available today)

 

B: be serious

 

C: be considerate

 

I know it sounds demanding. And I kinda miss the simpler days of not having to give instructions, by just throwing an ad up on gay.com and being available "now" or whenever the wind would blow...I just can't operate like that nowadays.

 

I think the issue is, these guys need direction. Anyone can just slap up an ad, put up a phone number and anyone who sees it can text or call. I know Rentmen has features like not showing number for non members or registered users, but I know there still a segment who won't sign up. The super discrete types.

 

So my whole goal is to train readers/users to recognize that if you're going to meet me, or even if you're not...get on my wavelength and read what I have up say before tapping into my line. Otherwise, they're going to come wrong, words going to get exchanged, and it's going to compromise the chance for something to happen.

[dbar123]

This cuts both ways. I've had a handful of escorts who were no shows too. One guy in Boston texted me several times that he was on his way.....when an hour went by and he didn't arrive he became non-responsive. Another guy in DC never showed up at all, then had the nerve to text me 2 days later to see if I still wanted to hook up. I've had other escorts who at least had the courtesy to flash me lame excuses as to why they couldn't make their appointments at the last minute.

[coriolis888]

 

snip

 

This cuts both ways.

 

 

Your four words say a volume.

[ArmyHands]

I refer to the ones who make contact, usually asking about an appointment on the same day. I return the message, include details, and then get no response.

 

I had a prospective client who has done the same thing, 2 or 3 other times. First contact was in January, second was in May, and then again yesterday (June). Each time, his first message would be, “Hi this is (name) in (insert city), I’m wondering if you are available for an appointment this afternoon”. I would then respond, give my info and find out how we can arrange. He would reply back once or twice, and then nothing.

 

On the 2nd time, I thanked him for reaching out...but explained that I recall he previously reached out to me back in January, and didn’t follow up. I also said I don’t host (because they always want me to host) short notice appointments when in town, and that I need advance notice. He explains why he couldn’t reply back (and it wasn’t a good excuse at that), but then once again didn’t respond when trying to arrange over a course of a couple days.

 

That was back in May. Then come yesterday, he hits me up again, saying we tried to meet before...but if I can meet last minute. So I once again tell him the same thing that I told him in May, about me needing advanced notice. I mentioned I could meet soon if he hosted, but I would need more time to go over to the location where I host. Sure enough, I got no response.

 

So at this point, he’s flushed toilet paper to me. Reached out later that evening, and told him he needs to reimburse me for this last “false start” he keeps doing. His excuse? He didn’t actually set up an appointment. But does it matter? He’s contacted me 3 times over the course of 6 months, and bailed on each. That comes off to me, like he really doesn’t value or care much about connecting.

 

As a client and/or provider (since it seems this goes on both sides of the fence), how many chances do you allow for people who initiate an engagement, but then just bail out after the first or 2nd text?

 

Just Block them you have business to run just like everyone else.. It was a time slot that somebody else could had used your service(s)

This has happened me soo many times I lost count.... If they don't Show up and don't let you know by CELL / TEXT / EMAIL etc... then don't bother with them again.... That's why I keep a list of Emails / Phone Numbers with dates when they don't show.... If in the Future they contact me again I tell them sorry no thanks... I tell them you made an appt in the past and never showed... Some people write back say they understand..

 

We have to understand things happens but to be RUDE and not let you know they can't make it with no communications is a big super BLOCK..

[NikoLeto]

I refer to the ones who make contact, usually asking about an appointment on the same day. I return the message, include details, and then get no response.

 

[/snip]

 

As a client and/or provider (since it seems this goes on both sides of the fence), how many chances do you allow for people who initiate an engagement, but then just bail out after the first or 2nd text?

 

My method is very tailored to the vibe I get from the client. If we've met before, especially several times and he has a spat of no-shows, I don't hold it against him, I carry on in good faith that his reasons for cancelling last-second (or whatever may have happened) were legitimate and move on. An established client would need to make a habit of this behavior before I would take a precaution that would very likely damage our business relationship.

 

For clients that I have not yet met, I allow them two 'grace appointments' where we set up an engagement, agree upon a time and the person falls silent. After that, I demand a deposit of $50 (which is applied to the cost of the encounter) before I consider taking them seriously. At this point in my "career", I don't need the stress of someone reaching out to me last-minute then hearing back from an escort they contacted 4 hours ago and ghosting me.

 

Prior to enacting this policy, I had a following of approximately 20 guys who would reach out to be across a three-month or so time span and set up appointments only to fall silent. I have no way of attempting to divine why this was a pattern for so many people, as I have several friends in the industry and they report a similar problem but with a number of people closer to but less than 10. Anyways, since I started telling people this, it just doesn't happen.

 

I still get plenty of new clients, and they never learn about this policy unless they make a habit of failing to meet at the last second.

 

As a client, contacting a provider who just NEVER contacts back, I can't possibly make up an excuse for that behavior. It could only be a naive misunderstanding that your personal habits around clients is your brand. If you fail to meet someone, then you're damaging your brand in a way that could be easily resolved by even the flimsiest excuses. "Sorry, running late/flat tire/car exploded/girlfriend needed something/boyfriend needed something/personal emergency/developed a cough." the possibilities are endless.

[KrisParr]

Several years ago I made contact with an experienced escort who had a lot of good reviews. We texted several times and made a date. He asked that the hotel be somewhat upscale, not a problem. Through our texts, I learned about his favorite drink, snacks, etc., as I wanted to make it a nice time for both. About an hour before the appointment, he called to say he would be there on time and was looking forward to meeting me. Room service brought the tray of goodies, the booze was on ice, and I was freshly showered and shaved. Right on the dot, I get a text, “can’t make it” - period. What? I replied numerous times, offered to reschedule, wait around, come pick him up, you name it. No reply. Nothing, zip, nada. Phone calls went to voice mail. So I’m “out” a tidy sum and no recourse. This was the M4R era, and while I did my best to get a negative review posted, it never did and about a year later he went away. I still get pissed when I think about it.

[John Doe II]

I refer to the ones who make contact, usually asking about an appointment on the same day. I return the message, include details, and then get no response.

 

I had a prospective client who has done the same thing, 2 or 3 other times. First contact was in January, second was in May, and then again yesterday (June). Each time, his first message would be, “Hi this is (name) in (insert city), I’m wondering if you are available for an appointment this afternoon”. I would then respond, give my info and find out how we can arrange. He would reply back once or twice, and then nothing.

 

On the 2nd time, I thanked him for reaching out...but explained that I recall he previously reached out to me back in January, and didn’t follow up. I also said I don’t host (because they always want me to host) short notice appointments when in town, and that I need advance notice. He explains why he couldn’t reply back (and it wasn’t a good excuse at that), but then once again didn’t respond when trying to arrange over a course of a couple days.

 

That was back in May. Then come yesterday, he hits me up again, saying we tried to meet before...but if I can meet last minute. So I once again tell him the same thing that I told him in May, about me needing advanced notice. I mentioned I could meet soon if he hosted, but I would need more time to go over to the location where I host. Sure enough, I got no response.

 

So at this point, he’s flushed toilet paper to me. Reached out later that evening, and told him he needs to reimburse me for this last “false start” he keeps doing. His excuse? He didn’t actually set up an appointment. But does it matter? He’s contacted me 3 times over the course of 6 months, and bailed on each. That comes off to me, like he really doesn’t value or care much about connecting.

 

As a client and/or provider (since it seems this goes on both sides of the fence), how many chances do you allow for people who initiate an engagement, but then just bail out after the first or 2nd text?

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame in me. Fool me thrice, shame on both if us..."