Tired...

[Jarrod_Uncut]

Even though I’ve mentioned about being content with the level of biz even during the times, another part of me is just on the verge of moving on. And now that the pandemic is loosening up, the bored and restless are coming out the woodwork.

 

Despite the success of biz, I’m just disappointed at the fact that more and more, it feels like I’m dealing with a lot of unstable people day after day. I don’t know if it’s because I’m located in a hateful “Midwest” town, coupled with being located in a few upsetting towns have proven especially strenuous on my tolerance. It seems there’s only a few select cities in this country that I can say, really have a steady flow. I think that’s the problem, this business just isn’t going to be worth doing in a vastly majority of places. Sure, one can get a client in any city at any time, but what is it to just get booked once a week, and then have to fight to book it because people don’t prioritize their requests.

 

To put it frank, I’m just tired of dealing with stupid people ALL WEEK LONG. The constant contacting for a session, and then failing to follow up and respond is beyond exhausting and childish. I’m dealing with grown men, well into their 40s and 50s doing this. It’s no excuse for it. No matter how professional and forgiving I try to be with these people, they have some kind of repression in their minds, which makes them behave that way.

 

At this point, I just don’t know. It’s certainly not the frame of mind I want to be in for a holiday...but I’m just in that zone right now.

[marylander1940]

Even though I’ve mentioned about being content with the level of biz even during the times, another part of me is just on the verge of moving on. And now that the pandemic is loosening up, the bored and restless are coming out the woodwork.

 

Despite the success of biz, I’m just disappointed at the fact that more and more, it feels like I’m dealing with a lot of unstable people day after day. I don’t know if it’s because I’m located in a hateful “Midwest” town, coupled with being located in a few upsetting towns have proven especially strenuous on my tolerance. It seems there’s only a few select cities in this country that I can say, really have a steady flow. I think that’s the problem, this business just isn’t going to be worth doing in a vastly majority of places. Sure, one can get a client in any city at any time, but what is it to just get booked once a week, and then have to fight to book it because people don’t prioritize their requests.

 

To put it frank, I’m just tired of dealing with stupid people ALL WEEK LONG. The constant contacting for a session, and then failing to follow up and respond is beyond exhausting and childish. I’m dealing with grown men, well into their 40s and 50s doing this. It’s no excuse for it. No matter how professional and forgiving I try to be with these people, they have some kind of repression in their minds, which makes them behave that way.

 

At this point, I just don’t know. It’s certainly not the frame of mind I want to be in for a holiday...but I’m just in that zone right now.

 

 

Life is all about the choices we make! If you think dealing with some bad apples doesn't work for you can always chose another path in life. One thing I must tell you, all activities, business, etc. have time wasters.

Btw if they contact you during this time they're certainly stupid people or should I call them as risktakers.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

Life is all about the choices we make! If you think dealing with some bad apples doesn't work for you can always chose another path in life. One thing I must tell you, all activities, business, etc. have time wasters.

Btw if they contact you during this time they're certainly stupid people or should I call them as risktakers.

 

That is true re: all businesses having Timewaster’s. I spent the night with one of my friend’s the other day, and he’s working from home doing insurance sales. After one of his calls, I heard him say, “bitch”.

 

HOWEVER, he also has a nice apartment in the city, and is making a living. In my case, it has been an on-going journey to get back to having my own spot. I’ve been looking everyday, in surrounding cities (because no way in hell will I be attempting that in my current market), for a new incall location. But it feels all in vain and keeps being thwarted, because I’ll see one or 2 good clients, but then have 15-20 Timewasters.

 

All these silly RentMen messenger responses, and vague texts round the clock. This is not how I envisioned the business would look like in my 30s. I’m babysitting. I’m dealing with a plethora of men children who seem to have never learned how to properly approach another man. Again, it could be (actually, IT IS) a situation of location, as any market situated in a conservative, backwards, closed minded, repressed location is bound to breed those types. Those same types may be a bulk of our clients, and prove to be an advantage. But the problem is one may only be working with a small number of those types, disproportionately to the size of the city.

Edited May 24, 2020 by Jarrod_Uncut

[CuriousByNature]

Even though I’ve mentioned about being content with the level of biz even during the times, another part of me is just on the verge of moving on. And now that the pandemic is loosening up, the bored and restless are coming out the woodwork.

 

Despite the success of biz, I’m just disappointed at the fact that more and more, it feels like I’m dealing with a lot of unstable people day after day. I don’t know if it’s because I’m located in a hateful “Midwest” town, coupled with being located in a few upsetting towns have proven especially strenuous on my tolerance. It seems there’s only a few select cities in this country that I can say, really have a steady flow. I think that’s the problem, this business just isn’t going to be worth doing in a vastly majority of places. Sure, one can get a client in any city at any time, but what is it to just get booked once a week, and then have to fight to book it because people don’t prioritize their requests.

 

To put it frank, I’m just tired of dealing with stupid people ALL WEEK LONG. The constant contacting for a session, and then failing to follow up and respond is beyond exhausting and childish. I’m dealing with grown men, well into their 40s and 50s doing this. It’s no excuse for it. No matter how professional and forgiving I try to be with these people, they have some kind of repression in their minds, which makes them behave that way.

 

At this point, I just don’t know. It’s certainly not the frame of mind I want to be in for a holiday...but I’m just in that zone right now.

I'm sorry to hear you are in that zone. Are there other career paths you have an interest in, or another city you might want to try working in? Unfortunately we sometimes run into these stretches where people disappoint us over and over again, and it can cause us to view things more negatively that what they actually may be. This pandemic doesn't help, and as things open up people may even act more strangely than usual for a while. My only (unsolicited) advice for what its worth, is try to stay flexible... its so much better to bend than to break. Take good care of yourself, and thank you for always being so open on these boards about what you are feeling.

[caliguy]

Even though I’ve mentioned about being content with the level of biz even during the times, another part of me is just on the verge of moving on. And now that the pandemic is loosening up, the bored and restless are coming out the woodwork.

 

Despite the success of biz, I’m just disappointed at the fact that more and more, it feels like I’m dealing with a lot of unstable people day after day. I don’t know if it’s because I’m located in a hateful “Midwest” town, coupled with being located in a few upsetting towns have proven especially strenuous on my tolerance. It seems there’s only a few select cities in this country that I can say, really have a steady flow. I think that’s the problem, this business just isn’t going to be worth doing in a vastly majority of places. Sure, one can get a client in any city at any time, but what is it to just get booked once a week, and then have to fight to book it because people don’t prioritize their requests.

 

To put it frank, I’m just tired of dealing with stupid people ALL WEEK LONG. The constant contacting for a session, and then failing to follow up and respond is beyond exhausting and childish. I’m dealing with grown men, well into their 40s and 50s doing this. It’s no excuse for it. No matter how professional and forgiving I try to be with these people, they have some kind of repression in their minds, which makes them behave that way.

 

At this point, I just don’t know. It’s certainly not the frame of mind I want to be in for a holiday...but I’m just in that zone right now.

You're not in a normal situation though. Just a bunch of last minute horny guys and the guilt of doing it during a pandemic. Flakes are the rule.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

I'm sorry to hear you are in that zone. Are there other career paths you have an interest in, or another city you might want to try working in? Unfortunately we sometimes run into these stretches where people disappoint us over and over again, and it can cause us to view things more negatively that what they actually may be. This pandemic doesn't help, and as things open up people may even act more strangely than usual for a while. My only (unsolicited) advice for what its worth, is try to stay flexible... its so much better to bend than to break. Take good care of yourself, and thank you for always being so open on these boards about what you are feeling.

 

Re: other career paths, I do have some in mind...but due to logistics over the past few months, I haven’t been able to get a stepping stone to much of anything outside of. Moving to a new market is what I want and need, but each time I strategize to make the move, I get throttled.

 

In some ways I am too busy with this, to step into something else. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s almost like how some business owners are stuck in what they do, even though they may not necessarily be in the best position. There’s customers, there are ads, then there’s the money aspect.

 

It’s like everytime l start thinking about stepping out and into something else, I have clients scheduling and money to be made. But how I feel now, I’m done dealing. My current market just has too many damn weirdo clients. If it’s not a guy calling me 50 times in a day, it’s a guy who ends the session soon after he cums. Then books again, only to do it again. Or the client who blocked before and slipped thru the cracks. Then there’s the one’s who go back and forth on the scheduling, not really able to plan anything.

 

How in the world am I supposed to do this and have a 2nd job, when many can only meet “around lunchtime”, oftentimes wanting to meet at exactly the same time. I had that happen twice this week. 4 clients all wanting to meet at the same time (2 wanted to meet in afternoon, 2 wanted to meet in he evening), and the other being unable to reschedule until some phantom day in the future.

 

Not to mention, adam4adam is once again becoming the #1 timewasting site. As much as I’ve applauded it’s effectiveness over the years, I’m seriously considering dropping it. Or at the very least, doing what porn star Ray Dalton told me he does, he never reads/responds to messages there. He just leaves his phone number, and those who contact by phone are the ones who are serious. The rest of those jokers can keep waiting.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

You're not in a normal situation though. Just a bunch of last minute horny guys and the guilt of doing it during a pandemic. Flakes are the rule.

 

Nobody is making them do it though. I don’t call them, they call me. If they had any real integrity about guilty feelings and abiding by the rules, they wouldn’t be online cruising for a bruising to begin with.

 

But it once again it goes back to the general reason of why I’m tired. I didn't sign up to be a therapist or mental health analyst. They need to get their head straight before they contact me.

 

And I wrote a letter to RENTMEN they need to start doing more instead of just collecting our money. Give providers a private portal to review and discuss bad clients, just like clients can do for us. Perhaps if an escort can see that 2 or 3 other providers negatively reviewed a client, they won’t be so quick to give extra “chance”. They get 1 time to do right, one slip up is all you get, if they even get a chance to book PERIOD.

Edited May 24, 2020 by Jarrod_Uncut

[CuriousByNature]

I totally get where you're coming from. We get into these ruts that have enough profitability to keep us engaged, but are not structured well enough to sustain our fulfillment. Its a hard spot to be in and it is understandably exhausting. You sound like you try to be very accommodating... perhaps too accommodating. In any career its important we have boundaries and to stick to them for our own mental and physical health. Exhaustion and depression are real things that drain us of our motivation and drive. These things are not insurmountable for you - but I think its really important to set your boundaries and try to stick to them. People can be very demanding and unreasonable. All we can do is stick to the plan we've laid out, whatever that may be, and hope that quality people will appreciate us for that. I understand it may even seem overwhelming, but take a good deep breath and know that you've got this. ?

[caliguy]

Nobody is making them do it though. I don’t call them, they call me. If they had any real integrity about guilty feelings and abiding by the rules, they wouldn’t be online cruising for a bruising to begin with.

 

But it once again it goes back to the general reason of why I’m tired. I didn't sign up to be a therapist or mental health analyst. They need to get their head straight before they contact me.

 

And I wrote a letter to RENTMEN they need to start doing more instead of just collecting our money. Give providers a private portal to review and discuss bad clients, just like clients can do for us. Perhaps if an escort can see that 2 or 3 other providers negatively reviewed a client, they won’t be so quick to give extra “chance”. They get 1 time to do right, one slip up is all you get, if they even get a chance to book PERIOD.

I would just take everything with a grain of salt till a few hours before. Set up a confirmation point. If the appointment was noon I'd say...lets touch base in the morning and see where were at. It's not foolproof but it makes it harder for them to flake out.

 

Obviously if you don't hear anything back then fuck em. They were never serious. to begin with. Catch them before they screw up your day though.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

I would just take everything with a grain of salt till a few hours before. Set up a confirmation point. If the appointment was noon I'd say...lets touch base in the morning and see where were at. It's not foolproof but it makes it harder for them to flake out.

 

Obviously if you don't hear anything back then fuck em. They were never serious. to begin with. Catch them before they screw up your day though.

 

Thankyou. And good points, but trust...despite the frustration I don’t let these imbeciles mess up my day. I’m experienced enough to know the point of no return. For 1, I never reserve hotel time for new clients without a deposit. Unless they sound absolutely genuine and proven.

 

The problem is, it’s become too prevalent. And when finances are at stake, I don’t have the patience and will to deal with 1 idiot after the next, requesting appointments, and then not having the decency to follow thru. It’s almost like I’m being scammed. Scammed by the sites I pay to find clients, and scammed by the potential clients who lie about wanting to pay me. That’s fraud, and it’s fraudulent. All the potential clients doing that are low-key criminal shiesters.

 

That’s why I don’t give them too many chances, and am willing to bust their balls and burn their bridges the FIRST time they flake. One guy last week, he wanted to go back and forth about scheduling, saying he wants to meet a noon or 1230 (which I had to make special concessions to do), then he tells me he has things to do, and how long will I be in town. I said SEND ME MY $100 CANCELLATION FEE, AND FORGET IT! And then he quickly figured out a way to show up.

 

Another guy, I’ve told him I’m contacting his mother and father tomorrow if I don’t get my reimbursement. Because this has been the 3rd or 4th time he’s wasted my time. He already knows, I told him last year to stop contacting me.

 

It’s one thing to inquire about a service, and be uncertain, and leave your options open. Or to just inquire and get quotes and such. But integrity would tell someone when you’re dealing with 1 person, have some tact and class. What’s worse is, some talk about making plans and then don’t respond. It’s like they look right in my face and LIE, and don’t have the balls to just be real.

 

And I hate to come off offensive, and I’m not judgmental. But the worst part of it is, lot of these guys playing these games aren’t really attractive to begin with. They have us jumping over hoops, and then turn out to be out of shape, lacking in hygiene, or just boring/inexperienced in bed.

 

I know the above won’t be popular and sounds harsh, but the point is: Guys underestimate our leniency. I look past all of those things, to create a fun experience. But don’t insult my intelligence by trying to play hard to get, in order for me to aimlessly pursue you, in an attempt to build your ego. Because I’m going to peep the game real quick, and cut you. Off. PERIOD.

 

This Chardonnay ? ? is letting everything out, unfiltered tonight. Thankyou, Fetzer vineyards.

[wklukas]

Another guy, I’ve told him I’m contacting his mother and father tomorrow if I don’t get my reimbursement.

 

 

Reminds one back to psycho “cease & desist” letters sent to dozens of folks....claiming to come from an attorney but in reality just the machinations & penmanship of joey bryant.

[Guest Calix_K]

Great post! I'm sure many or most of us have dealt with this type of thing; both for client and provider in this or other fields of work.

 

Regarding career path, just out of curiosity what interests you beyond this business?

 

Before I went private, I also dealt with unknown clients who tried to waste my time. Although I was never burned, it did sour my idea of keeping my contact info online and so readily available. Which is why I rarely have any ads up and if so, highly filtered contact methods.

 

One suggestion for you would be to create a separate persona for either your local or travelling business. This would involve the creation of completely custom but REAL and current content for each of your ads. I'm guessing you know the photos that gain the most interest, clicks, etc?

 

Additionally, if I wanted to reduce flakes/time wasters and maximize any free time to focus on other career pursuits, the local ad would indicate that a deposit is required after an appointment time/date has been suggested and agreed upon.

 

Should any regulars or clients you meet while travelling come to find that you're using multiple ads and multiple names, its as easy as informing them that not all clients are as responsible and respectful as him/her and due to the local client pool, its a necessity. Not all clients are created equal and it's my opinion that at times steps like this need to be taken.

 

Just my thoughts. Stay healthy!

[Jarrod_Uncut]

Great post! I'm sure many or most of us have dealt with this type of thing; both for client and provider in this or other fields of work.

 

Regarding career path, just out of curiosity what interests you beyond this business?

 

Before I went private, I also dealt with unknown clients who tried to waste my time. Although I was never burned, it did sour my idea of keeping my contact info online and so readily available. Which is why I rarely have any ads up and if so, highly filtered contact methods.

 

One suggestion for you would be to create a separate persona for either your local or travelling business. This would involve the creation of completely custom but REAL and current content for each of your ads. I'm guessing you know the photos that gain the most interest, clicks, etc?

 

Additionally, if I wanted to reduce flakes/time wasters and maximize any free time to focus on other career pursuits, the local ad would indicate that a deposit is required after an appointment time/date has been suggested and agreed upon.

 

Should any regulars or clients you meet while travelling come to find that you're using multiple ads and multiple names, its as easy as informing them that not all clients are as responsible and respectful as him/her and due to the local client pool, its a necessity. Not all clients are created equal and it's my opinion that at times steps like this need to be taken.

 

Just my thoughts. Stay healthy!

 

Thanks for the well thought out response. The advice is all taken into consideration, and will certainly add layers to the ever evolving creativity that’s necessary, to stay relevant and maintain stability in this business.

 

I recently did a thing on my ad that specifically mentions “if you want me to host” and “if you want me to come to you”. And outlined the parameters necessary. I’ll be using those to remind clients when they contact me and ask if I’m available “now”. Of course, some people like to intentionally not follow directions, or they make it seem like they did read it and will follow thru.

 

I spoke with one of my regular clients today, who confessed up and told me, that this town I’m in is not good for escorts, and has a bad reputation. He said it’s never been a good market for us. So if a CLIENT is saying that, obviously he’s heard it from other providers as well. So, going forward that’s the 1st and foremost thing I will be aiming to resolve going into the end of the month.

 

I reached out to a different client who lives about 4 hours away, and he’s going to be willing to help me with a place to dock at for a little while. He’s offered it before, but I’m always a bit considerate when it comes down to living situations with clients. But I feel like a refugee, trying to make an exodus lol. The market I’m in is really that bad. I can’t take another month of it. Idiots, flakes, and bullshitters. That’s all I deal with, day after day after day in this area.

 

And corona virus isn’t the reason, because it was this way prior to it. But it is 1 more thing that adds to the frustration. The issue has opened doors to reach some new clients, but in reality the situation has become so deep, I have to make a move.

 

I’d like to get back into a couple other career paths I had in mind, but with my current situation...all eyes are on getting out of the current rut, back into my own incall spot, and then get some essentials sorted. There’s always room to talk about finding a job or career, and that’s fine..but getting money isn’t the issue (and I had a long sermon with a couple friends about this, earlier this year). The issue is everytime I turn my back, there’s some new bullshit fucking up my momentum.

 

Last year it was SESTA/FOSTA, this year its Coronavirus, a time before that it was Rentboy shutdown, then the Trump election, and now I’m having other personal issues going on. And on top of all of that, I’m dealing with morons round the clock. How in the world does one bounce back from that?

 

Reminds one back to psycho “cease & desist” letters sent to dozens of folks....claiming to come from an attorney but in reality just the machinations & penmanship of joey bryant.

 

How funny. Well it actually reminds me of a story one of my wealthy clients told me, about an employee he found out was stealing from his medical practice, and was caught on video. He told her, “how would you like it if I went and called your husband and told him what you’re doing?”

 

I’m not 1 to go around and be outing people, and I’ve actually cut back on some of my cancel protocols and such due to the times we are in. But it’s people like the jerk I mentioned, who make me revert. And it’s not just him. It’s one jerk after the next. When I reach out to RentMen, they don’t always have a solution when it’s off their platform. Other sites like a4a do virtually nothing. So therefore, it’s ultimately up to me to handle it.

Edited May 25, 2020 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Pulgasari1991]

@Jarrod_Uncut

All aside, do you have an exit plan?

[Jarrod_Uncut]

@Jarrod_Uncut

All aside, do you have an exit plan?

 

Depends what you mean, an exit from my current market or the biz in general?

 

If it’s an exit from my current market, then yes. And that could be soon as next week. If it’s from the biz, that’s something that I wouldn’t be able to put into action right away, but it could be the next step once the first is completed.

 

But it wouldn’t be a full exit. Mostly likely I would just cut out certain platforms: Adam4Adam is likely going to be the first to get phased out. I mean, it’s getting me clients (though something to the tune of one or two every couple of weeks)...but when I evaluate which sites are doing what, a4a continues to be the place with the most prospective clients...who fail to schedule. So perhaps I can cut that, and add a small outside job to replace it.

[+ nycman]

....but in reality just the machinations & penmanship of joey bryant.

Funny, that’s what I assumed this whole thread was.

[Pulgasari1991]

Depends what you mean, an exit from my current market or the biz in general?

I meant the latter and mostly in a financial sense, although I found them both relevant.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

Funny, that’s what I assumed this whole thread was.

 

I would take that with a grain of salt. That same person using the word psycho, is also the same person who seems to find every 1 of my posts and rate it with a negative or neutral rating. But that same person never gave a good rating to any of the posts that other people have rated positively.

 

And then, when I emailed him like a real man would do in private about it, he couldn’t bother to respond. He’s the very epitome of the type of arrested developmental men I’m tired of lol. That said, I’m not here for that. I’m here to discuss industry affairs with mature, non-judgmental people who respect someone’s ability to be transparent.

 

I meant the latter and mostly in a financial sense, although I found them both relevant.

 

It’s a work in progress. I’m ready. I spent a good half hour or so on the phone with my client discussing everything, and it all makes sense. I have to make the move. Simply traveling isn’t enough. I need to be in a viable and convenient market. And my next city is going to be within 4 to 5 hours of several major metros.

 

And when it comes to A4A, based on the other thread in the lounge, If I do keep it beyond the time I’ve already paid for, I won’t be accepting any booking requests from half-filled profiles. And I’m also leaning towards deleting RentMen messenger, because that’s really becoming a waste of time too. Last thing I need to do is be texting someone who’s not even provided a phone number. But for now, I just have everything on auto-response with very simply details and instructions. So doesn’t really hurt to have the app one way or the other.

[wklukas]

I would take that with a grain of salt. That same person using the word psycho, is also the same person who seems to find every 1 of my posts and rate it with a negative or neutral rating. But that same person never gave a good rating to any of the posts that other people have rated positively.

 

Kind of reminds me of a time in Vegas.....sitting at a blackjack table playing 3 spots on every deal ($500 per spot / some doubling down / some splitting cards).....after about 1 hour I’m up $17000......after not muttering 1 single word of any kind to me, much less a friendly word, the dealer blurts out to say that most players would have tipped him some amount by then & asked why I had not ”toked” (tipped) him at all during my “winning streak”.....

 

so just because some others rate a post by you positively, I need to feel & do the same !!!......sheesh -

be grateful for the positive ratings that you do get & don’t have a pity party for yourself when you don’t get more...

 

& oh yeah, in Vegas - a pit boss overheard the dealer pretty much openly asking for a tip & promptly removed that dealer from the floor.....

(hopefully not to lose his job but rather maybe for some additional training).....

How did I spend that us$17k ?.....what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.....pas de regrets.

[caliguy]

I would take that with a grain of salt. That same person using the word psycho, is also the same person who seems to find every 1 of my posts and rate it with a negative or neutral rating. But that same person never gave a good rating to any of the posts that other people have rated positively.

 

 

That sounds familiar. Wklukas has been on a little tirade as of late rating all my posts with a ?. I guess it was payback for my negative rating above.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

so just because some others rate a post by you positively, I need to feel & do the same !!!......sheesh -

be grateful for the positive ratings that you do get & don’t have a pity party for yourself when you don’t get more...

 

I don’t need you to rate me positively, but if you don’t have anything NICE to rate, don’t rate ME at all. Why you seem so bent on doing so anyway if you don’t like my input, seems like you’re working too hard.

 

Now...back to the topic at hand.