You party?

[Trick]

In my many years of hiring, I have never been asked this question by a provider until today. I let my curiosity get the best of me when I said, “No, but I want to try it.” He first offered what he called “G”, a blue colored liquid less than half a glass which I ingested. He then took out a glass pipe with what he said was “T” and asked me, “You like?” I replied by shrugging my shoulders. He gave me a shotgun kiss, the first of several in the two hours we were together.

 

I admit I liked it but I don’t want this to happen again. At least that’s what I’m telling myself at the moment. Have I crossed the point of no return?

[+ keroscenefire]

Not at all...I had an experience like this at a NYE party a few years ago. Also ended up having sex with someone who was HIV positive without protection (also didn't know if he was undetectable). That experience led me to start PrEp and re-evaluate a lot of things about how I was approaching sex.

 

No judgement from me either way, but I although I had a good time that one night, it made me realize that I am not into Chemsex and haven't done it since.

[MikeBiDude]

In my many years of hiring, I have never been asked this question by a provider until today. I let my curiosity get the best of me when I said, “No, but I want to try it.” He first offered what he called “G”, a blue colored liquid less than half a glass which I ingested. He then took out a glass pipe with what he said was “T” and asked me, “You like?” I replied by shrugging my shoulders. He gave me a shotgun kiss, the first of several in the two hours we were together.

 

I admit I liked it but I don’t want this to happen again. At least that’s what I’m telling myself at the moment. Have I crossed the point of no return?

Is this a joke? sarcasm?

Or are you insane?

[Stormy]

You are on dangerous territory Trick. These drugs are killers and ruin the lives of the user and everyone who loves him. No one should try them

[Trick]

Is this a joke? sarcasm?

Or are you insane?

 

It’s not a joke, no sarcasm. I have lapses in judgment when I hire which I’m trying my best to avoid.

[+ E.T.Bass]

Didn't Ted Haggard get mixed up with meth that his provider supplied him?

 

Links for drugs in the gay community

[BabyBoomer]

It’s not a joke, no sarcasm. I have lapses in judgment when I hire which I’m trying my best to avoid.

 

Then don't hire any escorts who list PNP in their profiles.

 

~Boomer~

[+ nycman]

Just say no.

 

“Ron and Nancy got the house....but Sid and Nancy rule!”

[Trick]

Then don't hire any escorts who list PNP in their profiles.

 

~Boomer~

 

I won’t. It wasn’t even his fault though, I could have said no both times.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Yikes.

 

Let this be the beginning of a cautionary tale for everyone reading.

[+ Topseed]

Partying?

 

Run away from it. Run away from it as fast as you can.

 

PNP is prevalent in our community. It’s a non-negotiable for me.

[rvwnsd]

Given you

...have lapses in judgment when [you] hire which [you are] trying [your] best to avoid.

and you

...don’t want this to happen again. At least that’s what [you're] telling [your]self at the moment....

the answer to

... Have I crossed the point of no return?

Is "Yes, you have."

 

That's no joke and no sarcasm.

[HotWhiteThirties]

Given you

 

and you

 

the answer to

 

Is "Yes, you have."

 

That's no joke and no sarcasm.

Forgive the divergence, but I always marvel at such effective uses of the “quote” functions of the board. I haven’t mastered it as well as others, and I don’t know that it’s my aspiration, but hats off to those who do it as effectively as this. (EDIT: Case in point, I can’t even manage to get the full quotation where @rvwnsd demonstrates his quoting skill. So, see above because I don’t intend to spend the time to figure it out, but it doesn’t diminish my appreciation.)

[Trick]

@rvwnsd that’s what I’m afraid of. I don’t trust myself. I’m planning to take a break from hiring to take myself out of the situation and regroup.

Edited February 1, 2020 by Trick

[rvwnsd]

@rvwnsd that’s what I’m afraid of. I don’t trust myself. I’m planning to take a break from hiring to take myself out of the situation and regroup.

Good for you. However, you might want to seek out a therapist or counselor who has experience with patients who engage in self-destructive behavior and/or addiction.

 

Best of luck.

[arlinguy]

Good for you. However, you might want to seek out a therapist or counselor who has experience with patients who engage in self-destructive behavior and/or addiction.

 

Best of luck.

I was going to say the same thing.

[MikeBiDude]

@Trick a good 12 step program is free, no questions asked, they welcome all. Hard to walk in that door the first time....but almost immediately gratifying. You will find your experiences are hardly the exception or the most scary.

PM if you have any questions.

[+ OliverSaks]

You took a drug which is highly reinforcing and pleasurable, and you liked it.

 

You are NOT suddenly “an addict.” this thread has me really fired up, so much judgment and more jumping to conclusions about what can easily be an isolated incident.

 

What you do now, and going forward, is the real decision. I don’t have the time to write more now, but there’s a lot more that I would like to say, and I’ll write tomorrow.

 

Lot of “self-destructive behaviors” in many forms on this forum, people just love to judge others for the ones they don’t have.

[Trick]

I appreciate everything that has been posted so far, not feeling any judgment whatsoever. Some may have sped up the timeline to “addiction” but that is a concern I have myself. “A journey of a thousand miles...”, right?

 

Some context: I experimented with weed and OTC drugs in my late teens. My parents found out and lovingly took me away from that environment. I outgrew the curiosity and moved on. I became more conscious about my health in general and refocused my life to running a good business. But now that I’m older, I’ve been noticing lapses in judgment when it comes to sex. When I hire, it’s like an entirely different identity takes over, not in the DID kind of way. I find myself wanting to try stuff. My posts and questions on this forum can attest to that. Some are rather “safe” like watersports, DP, sex dungeons, etc. But this one involving drugs is scaring the hell out of me.

[MscleLovr]

this one involving drugs is scaring the hell out of me.

 

Then you must seek help from a professional @Trick. You may have escaped serious harm from your poor choices so far, but you cannot continue like this.

[+ E.T.Bass]

I appreciate everything that has been posted so far, not feeling any judgment whatsoever. Some may have sped up the timeline to “addiction” but that is a concern I have myself. “A journey of a thousand miles...”, right?

 

Some context: I experimented with weed and OTC drugs in my late teens. My parents found out and lovingly took me away from that environment. I outgrew the curiosity and moved on. I became more conscious about my health in general and refocused my life to running a good business. But now that I’m older, I’ve been noticing lapses in judgment when it comes to sex. When I hire, it’s like an entirely different identity takes over, not in the DID kind of way. I find myself wanting to try stuff. My posts and questions on this forum can attest to that. Some are rather “safe” like watersports, DP, sex dungeons, etc. But this one involving drugs is scaring the hell out of me.

Noble of you not to admit his culpability, this fellow that offered you a highly addictive drug, one that has wrought so much harm to gay men.

 

However I expect the people in your life that love and care about you would look upon him in a different light than you do.

Edited February 2, 2020 by E.T.Bass

[rvwnsd]

Then you must seek help from a professional @Trick. You may have escaped serious harm from your poor choices so far, but you cannot continue like this.

Speaking from my own experience, this is excellent advice that I can't recommend enough.

 

My poor choices did not include drugs or other substances, but self-destructive overspending that led to financial ruin. This despite being a trained accountant and banker who runs his work projects and department very frugally (except for pay and bonuses - people deserve to be compensated for their good work). After a few sessions with a psychotherapist, she suggested seeking help from another therapist who specialized in self-destructive behaviors and addiction. While she did not think I was "addicted" to anything, she did feel some of the methods used when treating addiction would help me. She was right. The guy she sent me to specialized in working with educated, "successful" people. While I still struggle from time to time, he helped me tremendously. That said, had I started therapy when I first got myself into trouble I would have avoided the situation I found myself in.

[+ GregM]

If someone offers to pnp I tell them I love a good party! Especially if it involves fun silly hats, good music and some cake and ice cream! I've never gotten a reply back after that ? Guess they really dont like to party ?‍♂️ On a serious note that shit is bad news bears and I wont tolerate it around me. If one wants to fuck up their life, be my guest.

 

Hugs,

Greg

[+ azdr0710]

way back in college, a roommate had a girlfriend who once asked him if he liked to party.....

 

"Sure, I'll have a beer", my roommate said.......

 

even sheltered/naive me knew what she meant......despite now being married with kids (not the same girl), he's still a bit dense......

[twinkboylover28]

Also ended up having sex with someone who was HIV positive without protection (also didn't know if he was undetectable). That experience led me to start PrEp and re-evaluate a lot of things about how I was approaching sex.

 

How did you find out after the fact you had sex that he was HIV positive?

Something similar happened to me in Montreal back in Fall of 2017.

A Taboo stripper escort started topping me without a condom.

I freaked out, stopped the session, and went to the ER 24 hours later in Canada on a Saturday night to start PEP within 24 hours. The entire experience costs me around $1500 for medical ER bills.

I was told PEP is free at the clinics, but I wasn't waiting until Monday as PEP is most effective started ASAP.

 

I had no idea what his HIV status was, but I figured if he was wiling to do that to me (unattractive and fat ME !)he would likely have unprotected with many others.

 

Anyways, just curious how you found out his HIV status?