Do Escorts Date Each Other?

[Quincy_7]

In the gay porn industry it's common for pornstars to date each other, especially at Helix. How common is this in the escort community?

[big-n-tall]

Not an escort...

 

I don’t know how common it is, but it happens. Now retired Alec Andrews and then boyfriend his both escorted. At one point they could only hired as a couple. That isn’t the only escorting couple on the forum btw.

 

One of the guys I used to see (who is retired from escorting) is now in a professional nonsexual career he loves. His current boyfriend is an escort.

Edited January 23, 2020 by big-n-tall

[BabyBoomer]

Alec Andrews & Ryan Thick

Austin Wolf & Tyler Wolf

Ace Banner & Tyler Saint

Derek Crawford & Killian James

Kyle King & Heath Rollins

Billy Santoro & Seth Santoro

Adam Russo & Cutler X

 

I'm sure others could add to this list.

 

~Boomer~

[ansdry]

Quads and Quadcore

[mike carey]

Alec Andrews & Ryan Thick

IIRC they were an item before they took up escorting.

[hypothetically]

In the gay porn industry it's common for pornstars to date each other, especially at Helix. How common is this in the escort community?

 

Quite common, although I feel these relationships are a ticking time bomb. Its great to have someone who understands your experience in contrast to dating someone who does not understand the intricacies of escorting, which is a slippery slope from the beginning. However, I do feel escorts come with a lot of internal conflict that they need to work out before trying to date another human being. Speaking personally, and from colleagues I know who date within the community, the relationships are never prosperous nor lengthy as this kind of work doesn’t warrant a relationship to ever have a healthy foundation.

[Quincy_7]

Quite common, although I feel these relationships are a ticking time bomb. Its great to have someone who understands your experience in contrast to dating someone who does not understand the intricacies of escorting, which is a slippery slope from the beginning. However, I do feel escorts come with a lot of internal conflict that they need to work out before trying to date another human being. Speaking personally, and from colleagues I know who date within the community, the relationships are never prosperous nor lengthy as this kind of work doesn’t warrant a relationship to ever have a healthy foundation.

 

What makes such a relationship difficult?

[+ poolboy48220]

I'd guess at a start, knowing your partner is out having sex with others regularly. That's not an impossible thing to deal with, but it takes a certain kind of person.

[+ Charlie]

An escort I was friendly with in the old pre-Internet days and I sat down one day with the Advocate pink pages and went went through all the escort ads. He had had sex with more of the advertisers than I had. Unfortunately, he eventually fell in love with one of them who was gorgeous but crazy.

[+ RJD]

I'd guess at a start, knowing your partner is out having sex with others regularly. That's not an impossible thing to deal with, but it takes a certain kind of person.

 

I’ve dealt with this personally many, many years ago before the internet. You do need to be of a certain mind-set to accept that your boyfriend is having sex with other men. Your social and sex life as a couple are compromised because your time together is being interrupted and your own sex life suffers because he needs to be able to function for clients.

[Quincy_7]

I'd guess at a start, knowing your partner is out having sex with others regularly. That's not an impossible thing to deal with, but it takes a certain kind of person.

 

The same concern should exist in pornstar relationships and yet many pornstars have seemingly great relationships with each other.

[TruHart1]

Not an escort...

 

I don’t know how common it is, but it happens. Now retired Alec Andrews and then boyfriend his both escorted. At one point they could only hired as a couple. That isn’t the only escorting couple on the forum btw.

 

One of the guys I used to see (who is retired from escorting) is now in a professional nonsexual career he loves. His current boyfriend is an escort.

IIRC they were an item before they took up escorting.

Yes. I believe you are correct, Mike, in that they were together before they began escorting. From hiring Alec many times, he sometimes shared that their relationship back then had a few issues with both of them escorting and having sex with so many men. That said, I wish both Alec and Ryan the best. I never met Ryan, but Alec was an amazing escort and an amazing man, sweet, smart and super sexy!!!

 

TruHart1

[mike carey]

Yes. I believe you are correct, Mike, in that they were together before they began escorting. ... I never met Ryan, but Alec was an amazing escort and an amazing man, sweet, smart and super sexy!!!

I only met Alec once (so he qualifies as my input to another thread) and didn't meet Ryan. I couldn't manage to get to the US between his announcement and his actual retirement. I absolutely agree with your assessment of Alec. Their case my be illuminating on the subject of this thread and on people's thoughts on the viability of escort-to-escort relationships. There may be more difficulties if one member of a couple is in the business and the other isn't (same with porn actors). The fact that they both retired at the same time would seem to support my theory that one partner working is more a difficulty than both. I'm not an escort so obviously my opinion is pure speculation.

[hypothetically]

What makes such a relationship difficult?

 

Escorting long term doesn’t exactly benefit one’s mental health. It skewers one’s perspective of what sex, money, love and interpersonal relationships mean. I think the fact that my partner having sex with other men for work is the least of my worries, as most escorts do a phenomenal job of disassociating and keeping personal and work completely separate. The mental anguish and wear and tear of working in such an industry, however, is a bit more difficult to overcome for two individuals trying to build something together.

[+ RJD]

I think the fact that my partner having sex with other men for work is the least of my worries, as most escorts do a phenomenal job of disassociating and keeping personal and work completely separate.

 

That would be much easier if both were in the business, but when someone you’re trying to build a relationship with is in the business and you’re not, it’s a tough pill to swallow (no pun intended) when he’s entertaining clients and you’re left alone. Logic and emotions are often mutually exclusive.

[hypothetically]

That would be much easier if both were in the business, but when someone you’re trying to build a relationship with is in the business and you’re not, it’s a tough pill to swallow (no pun intended) when he’s entertaining clients and you’re left alone. Logic and emotions are often mutually exclusive.

 

I agree. I've tried. It's very difficult.

[+ RJD]

I agree. I've tried. It's very difficult.

 

@TylerandAce seem to make it work, although I believe their services are only available as a couple. Yet Tyler does videos with other guys. I’d love to know how they make it work, if they’re willing to share. ?

[TruHart1]

I only met Alec once (so he qualifies as my input to another thread) and didn't meet Ryan. I couldn't manage to get to the US between his announcement and his actual retirement. I absolutely agree with your assessment of Alec. Their case my be illuminating on the subject of this thread and on people's thoughts on the viability of escort-to-escort relationships. There may be more difficulties if one member of a couple is in the business and the other isn't (same with porn actors). The fact that they both retired at the same time would seem to support my theory that one partner working is more a difficulty than both. I'm not an escort so obviously my opinion is pure speculation.

In the case of Alec and Ryan, Alec always was upfront when we talked that he and Ryan were only escorting until they raised enough capital to start a business they planned together. When he told me privately that he was about to retire, he said they had raised nearly all the money they needed to open their business. That is the reason they both retired at the same time.

 

Here's a picture, Alec is on the left:

http://www.burbujasdeseo.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Adam-Simmons-Michael-Ryan-Masculine-Desire-James-Franklin-Burbujas-De-Deseo-02.jpg

 

TruHart1

Edited January 25, 2020 by TruHart1

[+ TylerandAce]

@TylerandAce seem to make it work, although I believe their services are only available as a couple. Yet Tyler does videos with other guys. I’d love to know how they make it work, if they’re willing to share. ?

Happy to share. We do only see clients together as a couple. Tyler retired from doing work with studios when we got together in 2013. He still appears in the content we do for our fans pages, of course, but we only do it together. Even the scenes that are solo with him and another partner, I’m the cameraman in the room. It works with LOTS of communication and constant check-ins. It’s not easy, but we have a mutual understanding about boundaries and inclusion. Egos are nothing to play around with in a relationship, and we know that. Thankfully, we both like watching the other one with a third or even fourth. We don’t do groups so much because we tend to lose each other and it’s not as comfortable. It took a while for us to work to this point and we seldom invite another person recreationally. We both have different types, so agreeing on a guy is tough if it’s not business. Also, if it’s not business that means there’s a risk for too much attraction by one or the other. We talk through that and understand that men always like new. Thankfully, we enjoy that together and it is, honestly, healthy for our relationship. It doesn’t lead to less sex, either. On the contrary, it makes us more into each other to have the experiences. It’s hard to explain to folks who don’t really understand, especially straights. Also, seeing clients is a different motivation for each of us, and we understand that, too. It just takes communication.

Edited January 25, 2020 by TylerandAce

[+ RJD]

Happy to share. We do only see clients together as a couple. Tyler retired from doing work with studios when we got together in 2013. He still appears in the content we do for our fans pages, of course, but we only do it together. Even the scenes that are solo with him and another partner, I’m the cameraman in the room. It works with LOTS of communication and constant check-ins. It’s not easy, but we have a mutual understanding about boundaries and inclusion. Egos are nothing to play around with in a relationship, and we know that. Thankfully, we both like watching the other one with a third or even fourth. We don’t do groups so much because we tend to lose each other and it’s not as comfortable. It took a while for us to work to this point and we seldom invite another person recreationally. We both have different types, so agreeing on a guy is tough if it’s not business. Also, if it’s not business that means there’s a risk for too much attraction by one or the other. We talk through that and understand that men always like new. Thankfully, we enjoy that together and it is, honestly, healthy for our relationship. It doesn’t lead to less sex, either. On the contrary, it makes us more into each other to have the experiences. It’s hard to explain to folks who don’t really understand, especially straights. Also, seeing clients is a different motivation for each of us, and we understand that, too. It just takes communication.

 

@TylerandAce Thank you for sharing. Obviously, it takes a lot of work but you guys look so comfortable working together that you make it seem easy. COMMUNICATION is so important. In my experience, that was where we fell short, or I should say, it was where the boyfriend who was a provider fell short. He dismissed my concerns as unfounded jealousy and thought I was being unreasonable for feeling neglected.

 

Also, if it’s not business that means there’s a risk for too much attraction by one or the other.

 

This ⬆️ So true. In my admittedly infrequent 3-ways with couples in my younger years, it invariably turned ugly. Being the “fresh meat” meant I got most of the attention during the encounters and there was always more chemistry with one of them, which left the other feeling excluded and jealous. I lost a good pair of Clavins once when one couple came to blows (not the good kind). I pulled my jeans on (sans Calvins), grabbed my shirt, shoes, and bolted.

[+ TylerandAce]

@TylerandAce Thank you for sharing. Obviously, it takes a lot of work but you guys look so comfortable working together that you make it seem easy. COMMUNICATION is so important. In my experience, that was where we fell short, or I should say, it was where the boyfriend who was a provider fell short. He dismissed my concerns as unfounded jealousy and thought I was being unreasonable for feeling neglected.

 

 

 

This ⬆️ So true. In my admittedly infrequent 3-ways with couples in my younger years, it invariably turned ugly. Being the “fresh meat” meant I got most of the attention during the encounters and there was always more chemistry with one of them, which left the other feeling excluded and jealous. I lost a good pair of Clavins once when one couple came to blows (not the good kind). I pulled my jeans on (sans Calvins), grabbed my shirt, shoes, and bolted.

Lol...lessons learned. We’ve had our growing pains with it, too. I don’t think we ever ran anybody off, though ? lol. It’s definitely a process

[+ JEC]

Alec Andrews & Ryan Thick

Austin Wolf & Tyler Wolf

Ace Banner & Tyler Saint

Derek Crawford & Killian James

Kyle King & Heath Rollins

Billy Santoro & Seth Santoro

Adam Russo & Cutler X

 

I'm sure others could add to this list.

 

~Boomer~

Seth Knight & Cris Knight

[+ Eric Hassan]

Escorting long term doesn’t exactly benefit one’s mental health. It skewers one’s perspective of what sex, money, love and interpersonal relationships mean. I think the fact that my partner having sex with other men for work is the least of my worries, as most escorts do a phenomenal job of disassociating and keeping personal and work completely separate. The mental anguish and wear and tear of working in such an industry, however, is a bit more difficult to overcome for two individuals trying to build something together.

 

i respectfully diagree that escorting long term doesn't benefit someone's mental health. mine is way better now then when i was in my last career. i acknowledge that some folks might have trouble after doing sex work for a while, but i dont' think that's a causation thing. i think some accountants have mental health issues after doing it for a while. some doctors, too. and i'm sure some lawyers definitely waitresses and probably teachers, too. what i mean to point out is that sex work is work and just like any job, you might or might not expereince a change in your mental health after doing the work for a while.

 

i do think that it takes a fair amount of vigilance and work to maintain one's mental health doing sex work. it has most certaibly changed my views on sex, my body, other bodies, relationships, etc - but i don't make that wrong and i do the work i need to do to maintain my mental health in the same way that someone else doing something else might. without intention, it probably won't happen!

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

i respectfully diagree that escorting long term doesn't benefit someone's mental health. mine is way better now then when i was in my last career. i acknowledge that some folks might have trouble after doing sex work for a while, but i dont' think that's a causation thing. i think some accountants have mental health issues after doing it for a while. some doctors, too. and i'm sure some lawyers definitely waitresses and probably teachers, too. what i mean to point out is that sex work is work and just like any job, you might or might not expereince a change in your mental health after doing the work for a while.

 

i do think that it takes a fair amount of vigilance and work to maintain one's mental health doing sex work. it has most certaibly changed my views on sex, my body, other bodies, relationships, etc - but i don't make that wrong and i do the work i need to do to maintain my mental health in the same way that someone else doing something else might. without intention, it probably won't happen!

 

I couldn't have said it better. Great reply.

 

It's HOW you escort that keeps you focused, professional and stable, not THAT you escort.

[+ VictorPowers]

Idk. Ask @Eric Hassan I’d Date the F*** out of that guy!