What does YMMV mean to you?

[Massageislife]

One of my only frustrations with this site, which is otherwise one of the greatest things I've ever run across on-line, is the confusing way that the phrase, "Your mileage may vary" (YMMV), is used.

 

I don't use this phrase in my own postings because I'm not sure what it conveys to people, but perhaps a discussion might help clarify it. I welcome your input!

 

My own understanding of "YMMV" is that it refers to things, beyond the basic services contracted for, that some clients may experience but others may not. This includes 1) ineffable things that are not possible for a masseur to advertise or guarantee (connection, enthusiasm, etc.) or 2) sexual things beyond what the masseur explicitly advertises: for therapeutic: anything sensual at all; for sensual: anything beyond non-sexual elements that give the body pleasure; for erotic: anything beyond mutual nudity, basic MT, and non-avoidance of the genitals and ass (most of us, I think, also see of HE as part of erotic massage). If we get something beyond what we contract for, perhaps it's appropriate to post something about it, and then, I guess, adding "YMMV" could be additional information. For me, however, there isn't a lot of value in writing "YMMV," since I think all of us understand that our individual interaction with a masseur will be unique in some way. If a therapeutic masseur got naked or an erotic masseur kissed us, I think it's a given that others can't expect the same. (Hope springs eternal though!)

 

What YMMV does NOT mean, however, is that a masseur may offer what he advertises to some clients and not others (or to others for an additional charge), and I hope that we won't use the term that way. I go to this site, in part, to find out if masseurs' ads are honest (i.e., that their pictures are accurate and that they follow through on the services they advertise without upcharge). What I want, in this regard, from my brothers on this site is a warning about masseurs whose ads are dishonest; that is, the pictures are dated or not of them and if, specifically, they advertise and charge for erotic massage but don't follow through or attempt to upcharge for any of its elements. When someone has experienced this kind of "false advertising" with a masseur, I appreciate their posts about it. What is frustrating is when I get the sense that posters are covering up or avoiding the mention of such shortcomings by writing "YMMV." When we know that a masseur is not advertising honestly, I hope that we will let each other know.

[+ EVdude]

If I post or PM that a masseur got naked for me and you report back that he did not get naked for you... YMMV applies.

[Massageislife]

If I post or PM that a masseur got naked for me and you report back that he did not get naked for you... YMMV applies.

Evdude, thanks for replying to this post!

 

What situation are you describing? Is this hypothetical masseur someone advertising erotic massage? If so, then he is, I think, advertising that he massages in the nude. I don't think adding YMMV is helpful, unless you suspect that he doesn't get naked with others, despite his advertisement. If a therapeutic masseur gets naked for you, I guess it can be helpful to add YMMV, especially if you got the sense that he didn't ordinarily do this. I don't think it's necessary to add this, though, since others shouldn't be expecting someone they've hired (and paid) for therapeutic massage to get naked.

[BeefyDude]

Massage4life, you nailed it

 

For me I get PM'ed. I don't like getting into details past the massage. Just because a masseur does something "extra" for me does NOT mean it will happen for everyone. I don't like to mention it so that person who asked doesn't come back to me and say hey didn't do that to me.

 

Alot of the extra stuff I would say depends on chemistry, personality etc

 

Hope that made sense.

[Massageislife]

Massage4life, you nailed it

 

For me I get PM'ed. I don't like getting into details past the massage. Just because a masseur does something "extra" for me does NOT mean it will happen for everyone. I don't like to mention it so that person who asked doesn't come back to me and say hey didn't do that to me.

 

Alot of the extra stuff I would say depends on chemistry, personality etc

 

Hope that made sense.

It makes MORE than sense! Thank you for replying to my post!

[Monarchy79]

One of my only frustrations with this site, which is otherwise one of the greatest things I've ever run across on-line, is the confusing way that the phrase, "Your mileage may vary" (YMMV), is used.

 

I don't use this phrase in my own postings because I'm not sure what it conveys to people, but perhaps a discussion might help clarify it. I welcome your input!

 

My own understanding of "YMMV" is that it refers to things, beyond the basic services contracted for, that some clients may experience but others may not. This includes 1) ineffable things that are not possible for a masseur to advertise or guarantee (connection, enthusiasm, etc.) or 2) sexual things beyond what the masseur explicitly advertises: for therapeutic: anything sensual at all; for sensual: anything beyond non-sexual elements that give the body pleasure; for erotic: anything beyond mutual nudity, basic MT, and non-avoidance of the genitals and ass (most of us, I think, also see of HE as part of erotic massage). If we get something beyond what we contract for, perhaps it's appropriate to post something about it, and then, I guess, adding "YMMV" could be additional information. For me, however, there isn't a lot of value in writing "YMMV," since I think all of us understand that our individual interaction with a masseur will be unique in some way. If a therapeutic masseur got naked or an erotic masseur kissed us, I think it's a given that others can't expect the same. (Hope springs eternal though!)

 

What YMMV does NOT mean, however, is that a masseur may offer what he advertises to some clients and not others (or to others for an additional charge), and I hope that we won't use the term that way. I go to this site, in part, to find out if masseurs' ads are honest (i.e., that their pictures are accurate and that they follow through on the services they advertise without upcharge). What I want, in this regard, from my brothers on this site is a warning about masseurs whose ads are dishonest; that is, the pictures are dated or not of them and if, specifically, they advertise and charge for erotic massage but don't follow through or attempt to upcharge for any of its elements. When someone has experienced this kind of "false advertising" with a masseur, I appreciate their posts about it. What is frustrating is when I get the sense that posters are covering up or avoiding the mention of such shortcomings by writing "YMMV." When we know that a masseur is not advertising honestly, I hope that we will let each other know.

 

From reading this post (and a few others of yours)I think what you want is an ideal “massage world”, where all masseurs provide the EXACT SAME sensual massages to all of their clients across the board. And if you are requiring whether the masseur is good or not, good reviews will guarantee you’ll get a great sensual massage, without feeling “cheated”...

 

Well that’s never going to happen...

 

YMMV is a concept that’s built on vibes, energy, attraction and chemistry. And because we are all human, you’ll never ever be able to guarantee that.

 

Now, there are masseurs who advertise sensual massages, and then provide absolutely nothing near that to their customers and have no massage skills either.... typically they are exposed (which is usually a reflection of changing their names on advertising sites)

 

But the idea of a reviewer stating that they had a mind blowing experience with a masseur that extended far beyond the normal expectation of a sensual massage, and then expecting the exact same experience for yourself is a bit of a stretch.

 

In your case, I’d strongly suggest purchasing escorting services, where massage is involved, this way:

1.) You ccan discuss what your specific wants are

2.) you can somewhat navigate your own “mileage”, and

3.) you won’t feel cheated.

 

Good luck!!! ??

[Monarchy79]

Also,

I think it also is important to navigate through this fantastic site, with the proper tactics of research....

 

When I research, I don’t just research the masseurs, I research the posters... here’s what I mean...

 

If there is a poster who has rated a masseur highly, I search his other rated posts, and see what those masseurs all have in common...

 

Then I look at factors that the poster may reveal about himself in his profile and his other posts (such as his age, race, height, and build), and then I compare those to my stats..

 

That has resulted in me having mind-blowing massages that meet my expectations.

 

Here’s an example:

 

There was a masseur that got fantastic rating from a poster, who makes excellent posts.. the poster is a 6’2”, white guy in his early 30s.... given that I’m a 5’9”, black dude, at the age of 40....

I determined that we wouldn’t have the same mileage....

 

However, after getting a PM’ed review of a masseur from another poster who has similar stats to mine (which may mean equal mileage), I scheduled a massage and it was fantastic.

 

My point is that there’s a science to everything, and a strategic approach to this, actually works!!!

[+ EVdude]

Evdude, thanks for replying to this post!

 

What situation are you describing? Is this hypothetical masseur someone advertising erotic massage? If so, then he is, I think, advertising that he massages in the nude. I don't think adding YMMV is helpful, unless you suspect that he doesn't get naked with others, despite his advertisement. If a therapeutic masseur gets naked for you, I guess it can be helpful to add YMMV, especially if you got the sense that he didn't ordinarily do this. I don't think it's necessary to add this, though, since others shouldn't be expecting someone they've hired (and paid) for therapeutic massage to get naked.

I’m sticking with my simple definition.

 

I typically don’t shy away from giving details in PMs with forum regulars. Numerous times I’ve gotten reports back of things that didn’t occur for one of us. I’m not going to stop giving details. So I simply chalk it up to YMMV, and usually say so in advance. No ad analysis included.

Edited September 21, 2019 by EVdude

[+ nycman]

I tend to use “YMMV” when I know that I had strong

chemistry (or lack there of) with an individual provider.

 

I use it as a shorthand way of communicating that

my over the top (or disastrous) experience may not

in fact be “typical”.

 

I understand your point that YMMV applies to every

encounter and thus it appears superfluous, but I

disagree. Sometimes you have a strong inclination

that your experience wasn’t “the norm” and sharing

that feeling can help others keep their expectations in

check.

Edited September 21, 2019 by nycman

[Onamission]

I tend to use “YMMV” when I know that I had strong

chemistry (or lack there of) with an individual provider.

 

I use it as a shorthand way of communicating that

my over the top (or disastrous) experience may not

if fact be a “typical”.

 

I understand your point that YMMV applies to every

encounter and thus it appears superfluous, but I

disagree. Sometimes you have a strong inclination

that your experience wasn’t “the norm” and sharing

that feeling can help others keep their expectations in

check.

I agree with nycman's definition. I use it when I feel my experience was somehow outside this masseurs norm.

[Massageislife]

From reading this post (and a few others of yours)I think what you want is an ideal “massage world”, where all masseurs provide the EXACT SAME sensual massages to all of their clients across the board. And if you are requiring whether the masseur is good or not, good reviews will guarantee you’ll get a great sensual massage, without feeling “cheated”...

 

Well that’s never going to happen...

 

YMMV is a concept that’s built on vibes, energy, attraction and chemistry. And because we are all human, you’ll never ever be able to guarantee that.

 

Now, there are masseurs who advertise sensual massages, and then provide absolutely nothing near that to their customers and have no massage skills either.... typically they are exposed (which is usually a reflection of changing their names on advertising sites)

 

But the idea of a reviewer stating that they had a mind blowing experience with a masseur that extended far beyond the normal expectation of a sensual massage, and then expecting the exact same experience for yourself is a bit of a stretch.

 

In your case, I’d strongly suggest purchasing escorting services, where massage is involved, this way:

1.) You ccan discuss what your specific wants are

2.) you can somewhat navigate your own “mileage”, and

3.) you won’t feel cheated.

 

Good luck!!! ??

Monarchy, thank you for responding to your post. It means a lot to me, coming from you, who is an active and valuable participant in this site. I've been following--struggling not to weigh in on--your discussion on the "good attitude" thread. Race and racism is one of the often brutal dimensions of m4m massage--and every human, including sexual, interaction.

 

I also appreciate your putting my post in the context of my others too, but I think you are not reading what I'm saying correctly (I also acknowledge that I may not always be communicating effectively!). I don't believe in an ideal massage world (or any ideal world), and I don't want the same experience from all masseurs (or even the same masseur, if I see him more than once). I am not looking for an escort (although I'm sure I will someday; it sounds fun!). I also don't see this site as a place to direct me to masseurs who give escort-style extras. I find it somewhat distasteful, in fact, when posters seem to be bragging that they got sex for the price of a massage. It's exciting to get more than the basics of an erotic massage, but it's disrespectful to expect or even ask (at least in the initial outreach) for more than masseurs are advertising. And if they give "more," which is delightful, I hope the client tips appropriately (i.e., escort price).

 

I guess everyone has some deep desire for the "ideal" massage, but I understand that the ideal is, in its pure form, not possible in this vale of sorrows called life. Before I found this site, however, I hired several masseurs I would never have chosen, once I had started using it. I rarely have massages now that I leave disappointed from, and I owe that, in large part, to my brothers on this site. The couple of threads I've initiated, however, are attempts to be part of making this site even better. Even great things can be better. I think we can help each other understand what to expect generally and from specific masseurs, especially when it comes to what constitutes an erotic massage. We all already know what a "legit," therapeutic massage is.

 

What hasn't been helpful in anticipating if a masseur will provide erotic "basics" (I'm not talking about kissing, sucking, rimming, fucking, much less "connection") is when a poster writes, "YMMV." If YMMV means a masseur advertising erotic massage may not disrobe, may keep away from any of my own touching, and may avoid my private parts, I wish the poster would write that instead. That flags false advertising.

 

Too often, too, YMMV also seems like an opportunity to boast ("I got extras, but I've got a big dick / I'm young / I'm good looking / I'm irresistible, so YMMV."). We all know our place in the "marketplace of desire," so that use of YMMV can feel a little punishing.

 

Finally, I've gotten "extras" many times myself, but if someone PMs me about a masseur who gave them to me, I always try to emphasize that I don't know if that is a standard part of their massage. I don't think it's necessary to add "YMMV," since I think everyone understands what I mean.

[Massageislife]

Also,

I think it also is important to navigate through this fantastic site, with the proper tactics of research....

 

When I research, I don’t just research the masseurs, I research the posters... here’s what I mean...

 

If there is a poster who has rated a masseur highly, I search his other rated posts, and see what those masseurs all have in common...

 

Then I look at factors that the poster may reveal about himself in his profile and his other posts (such as his age, race, height, and build), and then I compare those to my stats..

 

That has resulted in me having mind-blowing massages that meet my expectations.

 

Here’s an example:

 

There was a masseur that got fantastic rating from a poster, who makes excellent posts.. the poster is a 6’2”, white guy in his early 30s.... given that I’m a 5’9”, black dude, at the age of 40....

I determined that we wouldn’t have the same mileage....

 

However, after getting a PM’ed review of a masseur from another poster who has similar stats to mine (which may mean equal mileage), I scheduled a massage and it was fantastic.

 

My point is that there’s a science to everything, and a strategic approach to this, actually works!!!

Very useful reply! I'm just learning that knowing more about my comrades on this site is another way of using it more effectively.

[Massageislife]

I tend to use “YMMV” when I know that I had strong

chemistry (or lack there of) with an individual provider.

 

I use it as a shorthand way of communicating that

my over the top (or disastrous) experience may not

if fact be a “typical”.

 

I understand your point that YMMV applies to every

encounter and thus it appears superfluous, but I

disagree. Sometimes you have a strong inclination

that your experience wasn’t “the norm” and sharing

that feeling can help others keep their expectations in

check.

NYCman, thank you for posting on this thread. What you say is really useful, perfect really!

[Monarchy79]

Very useful reply! I'm just learning that knowing more about my comrades on this site is another way of using it more effectively.

 

No prob,

 

Although we can get a bit out of hand on here (especially when we disagree), the contributors to these forums are a Gold-mine, and I truly appreciate having this resource

Edited September 22, 2019 by Monarchy79

[Becket]

A bi-curious person: You Might Munch Vagina.

[+ EVdude]

I always try to emphasize that I don't know if that is a standard part of their massage. I don't think it's necessary to add "YMMV,"

Exactly! And for me, especially when typing on my phone, YMMV is just 4 letters to emphasize the point.

[+ FrankR]

I tend to use “YMMV” when I know that I had strong

chemistry (or lack there of) with an individual provider.

 

I use it as a shorthand way of communicating that

my over the top (or disastrous) experience may not

if fact be a “typical”.

 

I understand your point that YMMV applies to every

encounter and thus it appears superfluous, but I

disagree. Sometimes you have a strong inclination

that your experience wasn’t “the norm” and sharing

that feeling can help others keep their expectations in

check.

YMMV = went above and beyond my expectations based on ad and experience with other masseurs offering similar services.

I use “Buyer beware” when basic service was disappointing or if i spot a number of red flags. ?

[Massageislife]

YMMV = went above and beyond my expectations based on ad and experience with other masseurs offering similar services.

I use “Buyer beware” when basic service was disappointing or if i spot a number of red flags. ?

Thanks, Frank!

[Monarchy79]

Monarchy, thank you for responding to your post. It means a lot to me, coming from you, who is an active and valuable participant in this site. I've been following--struggling not to weigh in on--your discussion on the "good attitude" thread. Race and racism is one of the often brutal dimensions of m4m massage--and every human, including sexual, interaction.

 

I also appreciate your putting my post in the context of my others too, but I think you are not reading what I'm saying correctly (I also acknowledge that I may not always be communicating effectively!). I don't believe in an ideal massage world (or any ideal world), and I don't want the same experience from all masseurs (or even the same masseur, if I see him more than once). I am not looking for an escort (although I'm sure I will someday; it sounds fun!). I also don't see this site as a place to direct me to masseurs who give escort-style extras. I find it somewhat distasteful, in fact, when posters seem to be bragging that they got sex for the price of a massage. It's exciting to get more than the basics of an erotic massage, but it's disrespectful to expect or even ask (at least in the initial outreach) for more than masseurs are advertising. And if they give "more," which is delightful, I hope the client tips appropriately (i.e., escort price).

 

I guess everyone has some deep desire for the "ideal" massage, but I understand that the ideal is, in its pure form, not possible in this vale of sorrows called life. Before I found this site, however, I hired several masseurs I would never have chosen, once I had started using it. I rarely have massages now that I leave disappointed from, and I owe that, in large part, to my brothers on this site. The couple of threads I've initiated, however, are attempts to be part of making this site even better. Even great things can be better. I think we can help each other understand what to expect generally and from specific masseurs, especially when it comes to what constitutes an erotic massage. We all already know what a "legit," therapeutic massage is.

 

What hasn't been helpful in anticipating if a masseur will provide erotic "basics" (I'm not talking about kissing, sucking, rimming, fucking, much less "connection") is when a poster writes, "YMMV." If YMMV means a masseur advertising erotic massage may not disrobe, may keep away from any of my own touching, and may avoid my private parts, I wish the poster would write that instead. That flags false advertising.

 

Too often, too, YMMV also seems like an opportunity to boast ("I got extras, but I've got a big dick / I'm young / I'm good looking / I'm irresistible, so YMMV."). We all know our place in the "marketplace of desire," so that use of YMMV can feel a little punishing.

 

Finally, I've gotten "extras" many times myself, but if someone PMs me about a masseur who gave them to me, I always try to emphasize that I don't know if that is a standard part of their massage. I don't think it's necessary to add "YMMV," since I think everyone understands what I mean.

 

Wow,

 

Thanks.. I now have a clearer understanding of your point.... which is still quite complex.. ☺️

[Scotty]

To me YMMV literally always reads as “i had a sexy time but I’m kinda cute so you might not if you’re not cute like me”

[Kody S]

NYCman, thank you for posting on this thread. What you say is really useful, perfect really!

 

I agree with NYCman when he talks about YMMV as a means of signaling that one’s encounter (as a total experience) probably was not typical for lots of different reasons. I usually have a “sense” about “what’s done unto you may not be what is done unto others” and that is either on my end or the masseurs. Sometimes it’s an off day for me just like it can be an off day for them, or an “on” day for me and same for the masseur.

 

However I don’t use YMMV when the masseur was clearly not like the pictures or did not performed the massage as advertised... those elements that are in the ad and fair game for comment. I actually wish more would comment on the masseur’s actual skill level because that is primarily why I go. I’m interested in “worth what paid for.” We all know people and places where we can get what we want for a whole lot less than what some private masseurs charge. So was the masseur and massage as advertised (granted that measure is subjective)? For me, that would not be YMMV.

[+ EVdude]

To me YMMV literally always reads as “i had a sexy time but I’m kinda cute so you might not if you’re not cute like me”

Well yeh, but in my case it’s “i had a sexy time but I’m old and not kinda cute so you might not if you’re cute and not old like me.” That’s real YMMV, befuddling as it is.

[Massageislife]

To me YMMV literally always reads as “i had a sexy time but I’m kinda cute so you might not if you’re not cute like me”

Yeah, sometimes guys have come right out and said that! Not helpful.

[Massageislife]

I agree with NYCman when he talks about YMMV as a means of signaling that one’s encounter (as a total experience) probably was not typical for lots of different reasons. I usually have a “sense” about “what’s done unto you may not be what is done unto others” and that is either on my end or the masseurs. Sometimes it’s an off day for me just like it can be an off day for them, or an “on” day for me and same for the masseur.

 

However I don’t use YMMV when the masseur was clearly not like the pictures or did not performed the massage as advertised... those elements that are in the ad and fair game for comment. I actually wish more would comment on the masseur’s actual skill level because that is primarily why I go. I’m interested in “worth what paid for.” We all know people and places where we can get what we want for a whole lot less than what some private masseurs charge. So was the masseur and massage as advertised (granted that measure is subjective)? For me, that would not be YMMV.

I mostly agree except for that last, parenthetical remark. My hope is that we can agree on basics, like a massage advertised as erotic and costing $150-60/hr. has some basic, agreed upon parameters

[jcarper]

My #1 most favorite massage ever turned into one hilarious fuckfest, and I told someone about this masseur... he went... and he said it was the worst experience he's ever had lmao! So YMMV! He started grabbing too early, ended up getting no massage because the masseur thought he just wanted to get straight into the extras, then he lowballed the starting offer, and refused to take my advice and bring ur own condom, as some places won't have them because they are pretty incriminating if found during raids. It just went to hell after that hahaha.

 

So to me, YMMV = You're not me and I'm not you, so our experiences may differ.

Edited September 22, 2019 by jcarper