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Hallmark Channel Movies


Deadlift1
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Neither love or hate them. I usually watch Frasier reruns before going to bed, so if I turn on the TV in the bedroom in the afternoon, it's a Hallmark Movie that's on. Unrealistic formula plots, and actors who probably, but not for Hallmark, would still be struggling to find jobs (not saying they're bad). Nothing really there to hate, but can only watch a few minutes.

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I don't have cable......I guess quality has gone down??.....I remember as a kid in the 70s the high-quality "Hallmark Hall Of Fame" movies were much-anticipated periodic specials on one of the mainstream networks that my parents planned around......

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Hallmark_Hall_of_Fame_episodes

 

Never watched them.

 

Wow. Didn't realize how long they were on, and the talent that acted in them.

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A friend of mine and I watch them for laughs. We've made a list of standard plot devices. High powered exec finds love while visiting small town, widowed parent finds love, magic of love solves problem, etc. Plenty more. Ha

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We get the Hallmark Channel and also the super schmaltz Hallmark Movie Channel.

 

I really like watching the Hallmark Movie Channel at like 3:00 am if I can't sleep. Right now I think it's back-to-back Christmas in July.

 

The Christmas movies are all shot in Canada in the fall with fake snow. They all have plots like the hunky young carpenter who's wife died helps a single mom with her plumbing leak after she promised herself she would never fall in love again. Oh, but then he just happens to surprise her with a Christmas tree delivered by a 6-horse sled just before Christmas after the last Christmas tree gets sold from her small town's only Christmas tree lot. They're all schmaltzingly romantic despite the botlike dialogue and great to watch late at night after many beverages have been consumed. The guys are all hot.

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  • 2 years later...

Horrible Hallmark movies have been torturing viewers for 20 years

By Johnny Oleksinski

 

It’s been 20 long, arduous years since Hallmark released its first original Christmas movie: “The Christmas Secret,” starring Beau Bridges and Richard Thomas. That forgotten piece of tinsel was about a professor who sets out to prove that reindeer can fly, and then meets Santa. Ugh.

 

Some readers will think of that fateful day as the Big Bang of holiday cheer; a tiny spark unleashing two decades of Yuletide merriment.

 

Bah humbug, I say! Dec. 17, 2000 was the K-T Extinction Event for enjoyable Christmas movies, and that little film starring John-Boy from “The Waltons” ushered in an era in which, as the weather gets colder, the American public gets dumber. Because they gorge themselves on Hallmark’s asinine Christ-mush.

 

A whole month before shopping malls put Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You” on repeat, Hallmark Channel is already showing its wintry movies around the clock — in freakin’ October.

 

Even worse, the tasteless tradition has started spreading to streaming services such as Netflix and Disney+, and has now grown out of control. Schlock has replaced decent Christmas movies as the main event.

 

It’s the holidays, so allow me to wax nostalgic for a better, classier time.

 

Recall when this cherished genre was packed with well-made films, including many enduring American classics: “It’s A Wonderful Life,” “Miracle on 34th Street” and “White Christmas.” More recent movies from the 1980s and ’90s, such as “Home Alone,” “The Nightmare Before Christmas” and “Gremlins,” are also worthy of praise and repeat viewings.

 

And then came hungry, hungry Hallmark.

 

The basic cable network, which is available in more than 80 million American homes, gained popularity in the aughts thanks to appalled audiences who decided TV was kicking good ol’ fashioned family values to the curb. With HBO having aired shows about super relatable mobsters and New York nymphomaniacs, I don’t know what they could possibly mean.

 

The network found its niche with schmaltzy Christmas content. Since 2009, they’ve dubbed the monthslong event “Countdown to Christmas” (I picture Richard Dean Anderson diffusing a time bomb) and have gradually upped the ante. This year they are airing 40 originals, including “Sense, Sensibility & Snowmen” and “A Blue Ridge Mountain Christmas,” which are all roughly the same film.

 

The newbies join the well over 100 formulaic, cheap movies Hallmark has churned out using a rotating roster of popular-on-Hallmark stars such as Candace Cameron Bure, who has been dubbed the Queen of Christmas, Lacey Chabert and Lori Loughlin, who is currently serving two months in the clink for another crime.

 

Back when these atrocities were consigned to the gated community of Hallmark, I couldn’t care less. But their competitors took notice, and the style is everywhere. Lifetime turned into another Christmas machine in the 2010s, and is releasing 30 films this year, while behemoth Netflix has hopped on the naughty list, too.

 

This year the streaming service dropped seven originals including “Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square” and “The Princess Switch: Switched Again.” Frank Capra is LOL’ing in his grave.

 

Even for theatrically released seasonal movies, a sharp downturn in quality began shortly after Hallmark originals came on the scene. That’s when we got “Christmas With The Kranks” (2004), “Surviving Christmas” (2004) with Ben Affleck, “Deck The Halls” (2006), starring Danny DeVito and Matthew Broderick, and “Fred Claus” with Vince Vaughn and Paul Giamatti (2007). Christmas films, which used to get the occasional Oscar nomination, have become synonymous with badness.

 

This year, they’re gaining particular praise for adding some diversity to the mix. “Are Hallmark movies turning the corner on diversity?,” asked Forbes. “TV’s gay Christmas movies are as benign, charming and cliche as we always hoped they’d be,” cooed the Washington Post. Isn’t it wonderful that multiple groups can share in sub-par entertainment?

 

There has always been an understandable appetite for crummy, campy movies. The Razzies is an awards show dedicated to them. What’s new here is the cynical corporatization of lousiness; how Hallmark, Lifetime and Netflix set out to make rubbish knowing full-well that millennials will cackle at it. And if you think they are legitimately good, well, you can now do therapy sessions conveniently on Zoom.

 

I hope you’ve enjoyed Christmas with a crank.

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I don't have cable TV anymore but when I was taking care of my mom she watched them religiously

 

Then a few years ago when I moved down here to South Jersey my cousin became addicted to watching them

Have to admit they do feature some nice Canadian beefcake

 

Corey Sevier

Andrew W Walker

Daniel Lissing (lone Australian)

Brennan Elliot

Thomas Beaudion

Jesse Hutch

 

Google any of them with the suffix "shirtless" you'll be in for a pleasant photo gallery

Edited by alexslaveboy
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It's Sunday... as I'd previously posted (& only 15 minutes, per Wendy Williams):

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/kfc-colonel-sanders-romance-novel-for-mothers-day.124020/#post-2025200

 

You are RIGHT again sir. I think I heard Wendy say it was Saturday, or maybe I imagined it...? I dont even know what day it is anymore.....

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I think I heard Wendy say it was Saturday, or maybe I imagined it...? I dont even know what day it is anymore.....

 

 

Nah, she said Sunday. She's taking next week off to be with her family to grieve for her mom, whom she said died many, many, many weeks ago. Rehab, perhaps?

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