Jamie21

Here’s my take as a masseur. I get a lot of enquiries that go nowhere (although I do respond to all enquiries!). Many potential clients appear to be just browsing and from experience I get to know the likelihood of a booking from the tone and content of their first message. If they open with “hi” or “hey” it’s 99% certain they’ll never book. 100% certain if they open the conversation with a dick pic (in fact I lied, I don’t reply to dick pics, or ass pics etc). So if you’re getting lots of messages from clients, and perhaps you’re treating this work in a slightly casual way (as many do) and you have an Onlyfans that makes plenty in a passive income way (as many do) then how motivated are you to reply to someone who’s unlikely to turn into a client? Especially if he’s asking very open ended questions. I find it difficult to answer a question like “can you tell me about your service?” without writing a long response including the style, content, rates, availability, experience level, location etc. Often all of that is on my profile somewhere or on my website, which the enquirer may or may not have seen. In those open ended questions I usually just refer the client to my website if they have questions, which might come across as dismissive but all the info is there! The best way to maximise chances of a reply is to approach professional looking guys (don’t be taken in by thirst trap pics), look at the spelling and grammar on his profile, look at how long he’s been around, consider the reviews, look at the quality of the pics more than the content. Then ask direct questions: Hello, I saw you in RentMasseur (or wherever ) I’d like to book for x time on y day, please let me know your availability. If he responds then you can ask other questions.

Then there’s the power top, power bottom, and all sorts of other things!

I notice that because I’m large a lot of clients want me to top. The same applies when making films, I usually top. So generally in my professional sex (that’s what I call work sex) I’m a top. But for recreational sex I usually like to bottom. Perhaps it’s because it’s different. Overall to me though it doesn’t matter, I like both roles (even at the same time 😈). It’s just that sometimes it’s simply more practical to top, or even to do everything else but penetrate. One of the roles not listed in the OP’s survey was ‘side’ but I find quite a lot of clients would describe themselves as just that. Nothing internal but lots of cuddling, body contact, frontage, hand jobs and kissing etc. That can be a fantastic session without the ‘pressure’ to penetrate anything.

Work your assets 👍

It’s usually if the client is a regular that the timing becomes fluid. If they booked an in call then I stick to the time agreed. I never go under but don’t go more than 5 minutes over either. They might have commitments afterwards and usually so do I therefore we finish on time for in calls. For out calls I’m more relaxed on time if I don’t have commitments afterwards (and I always leave time after an out call to my next thing because of the risk that an out call over runs or starts late) and nor do they. Recently I saw a regular client at his hotel. We hadn’t agreed a duration but his usual sessions are about 90 mins to 2 hours. This time he had a couple of travelling companions with him (he told me beforehand) so I expected the session might last longer. Therefore I made sure I had no commitments for a few hours. As it turned out I started the session with the client and then part way through his travelling companions joined us. After about 90m my client went off into the lounge area with one of his companions (it was a hotel suite with 2 separate rooms) and I was chatting on the bed with the other one. She told me they were going for dinner later so I knew they had plans. My client came back in with his travelling companion and there was a bit more play but I sensed things were coming to a natural end. I asked my client what their plans were and he said they had a dinner reservation. At this point one of his companions said she needed to wash her hair for the dinner because there was cum in it (that was me 😂). My client said she’d take ages in the shower so why didn’t I go first?…so I knew that was my cue that the session was over. As almost an afterthought he then invited me to join them at dinner but that would have been too late so I politely declined. As it happened after I was dressed we all got chatting for half an hour about their theatre and concert trips.

This is great advice. I prefer text initially. Can’t always take calls and I don’t answer withheld numbers. If my client really wants to talk details then I prefer it if we arrange a time for the call. Whatever you do don’t be coy (unless you have to be for legal reasons). I prefer it if clients ask directly.

It’s mixed. I’d say most of my clients don’t want kissing (but they want to be rimmed lol…). Kissing is very intimate and for guys who aren’t ready or able to describe themselves as gay, or for those who are in relationships etc then kissing is a step too far. Others most definitely want to kiss. You can rarely tell and it’s not something that I’d ask before the session. However during the session I’ll perhaps kiss his neck, near his ear or somewhere and see what he does. If he turns his head away then I know kissing is probably not his thing but if he turns towards me then it’s a sign he might want to kiss. Occasionally I’ll ask by whispering in his ear “would you like to kiss” and that’s enough for him to take the opportunity or not depending on his preference.

This is an interesting perspective and I agree with it to an extent. Doing sex work it’s easy to transactionalise (is that a word??? well you know what mean) client sessions and overlook the intimacy and companionship angle. I was talking about this with another provider I know after we’d done a duo session (4 hands massage plus extras) for a client. The client was ecstatic about the session in his feedback afterwards. It had had a profound impact on him. After the client had left I was talking with the guy I’d worked with and reflecting that it was just a routine part of our day, as in get up, eat, do some chores, see the client, have lunch etc….What was to us an every day occurrence we’d almost forgotten about as soon as he left, was to him something extra special that would stay with him for ages. It’s so easy to fall into that way of thinking that you risk forgetting that to many of your clients it’s something quite different and that’s why they hired you. Obviously because we’re professional and take the work seriously I guess we make it look like it’s not ‘routine’ but the risk of letting it appear to be transactional is always there (especially if you see a few clients in a day for example). Where I think the challenge comes though, which is why I caveat my agreement to your point @DaltonJ, is that for regular clients where the relationship and intimacy does deepen (which is great!) the risk is the client believes it has or can go beyond a provider/client situation whereas you as the provider don’t want that, and of course you don’t see it coming until he tells you! I’ve had that once or twice and it’s horrible to have to bring things back from that. It’s a really difficult tightrope to walk and is why most providers will want to keep their work and their non work sex quite separate. If indeed there is much non work sex!! (and that’s a different topic 🙂).

I find most of the clients I see who want me to top them (and the majority of my clients aren’t looking for that) are fine with bb. My preference is to not use condoms. Those who want to top me are more likely to want to use a condom, which is fine with me, I don’t mind either way, but they bring their own condoms (mine are usually too large 😉). I’m on prep and I think many of my clients are, especially those who want a more escort type session. Clearly there’s risks even with being on prep but I’ve never caught anything from clients, as far as I’m aware. Definitely right that each person makes an informed choice and should not feel shamed or pressured for whatever their choice is.

I’ve had this happen. I think I’ve written about it previously but I’ll mention it again here because it’s relevant. I did an outcall one time to a client and his young daughter was with him when he answered the door. In fact we used the room she had been playing in for the massage. The client had intended we use a garage (integral to the house, a townhouse over 3 stories) but it wasn’t suitable so he moved the session to the ground floor play / tv room. As I was setting up the table he asked her to “go upstairs to mummy while daddy has his massage”…. Once she was gone I checked with him that he understood the nature of the service, as in we’d both be naked and it would include sexual activity and he confirmed all ok. He’d clearly seen my advertising etc so couldn’t have been in doubt but given his wife and daughter were upstairs and knew he was having a massage I did wonder… What’s worse is he didn’t even lock the door and during the session I could hear them upstairs. I asked him if this was ok and he was adamant we’d not be disturbed. I didn’t meet the wife, or daughter again fortunately as I think it would be even worse to see them afterwards. The client behaved like it was all routine…maybe it was a turn on for him because it certainly didn’t seem to inhibit him…he was hard as soon as he got naked. I really don’t mind if there’s others in an adjacent room. I’m also fine if they know what’s going on. I’ve done live shows and workshops including having full sex and things like being a demo model for the use of sex toys so it’s not a problem to me. I also have clients who are married and they both have massages from me while the other one watches. However in every situation it’s been agreed beforehand. It’s just polite and respectful to ask, and of course some situations such as the one above where I knew his daughter was upstairs are very disconcerting. He should have told me that might be the case when booking. I think that for most people they want discretion and privacy in such situations. If you as a client have any circumstances where your place isn’t going to be private then it’s best to let your provider know then he can decide. The default expectation both ways is of privacy.

I’d say it’s more likely that his clients are fellow members of the clergy…

I do that now!! Plus I decant the lube I buy into smaller secure bottles and then keep all the stuff that might leak (masssge oil, toy cleaner) in ziplock bags. If I’m bottoming then I don’t mind what lube he uses. If I’m top then I prefer silicon based lube (or cum of course …that’s best!). I’m cut so I also prefer to use a little lubricant when wanking.

It’s true. Makes it taste sweet. Don’t let him eat Asparagus though, that makes it taste really yuck.

Always takes two to make a market: demand and supply.

Wow and I believed them all when they said they were virgins.

You’re very strict! I understand why given the model you operate. My model is different so I can go along with it a few times because it doesn’t cause me any hassle (they cancel before the day so I’m not incurring costs etc. By the third time they cancel with some lame excuse I usually say to them that if they’re anxious then to talk to me. These clients tend to be inhibited, usually not out, often exploring their sexuality. Their chat reveals they have a lot of misconceptions about gay or bi sex. I don’t want to be difficult to them; one day they might actually pluck up the courage to come for a session and that would be fantastic for them. I like helping clients with their sexuality and helping them to be comfortable with their sexuality. Those kind of clients are lovely because they’re so appreciative of what you do for them.

It would be fine, he can do that. Usually people that book that far in advance are serious and they plan very well so it’s unlikely they’ll cancel unless their travel plans change. Obviously the he earlier I know the better. If he cancelled an hour before I’d be pissed of course but to counter that happening I always message clients the day before the session to make sure they are still all ok and if it’s a new client I’ll also message on the day with “see you later” as a further reminder. If I don’t get a response to that (or at least see that it’s been read) then I’ll follow up with a message to check he’s still ok. If those pre meeting messages are ignored and it’s a new client then I’ll cancel it and assume he won’t show. My time waster radar is highly tuned now so I can usually sift out these types before it even gets to a booking being made. Most of these are the ones who like the idea of a session (usually when they’re horny) and so they book it ….but then when it comes to the day of the session they get anxious and either don’t show or they come up with some excuse to cancel. The pre meeting reminder messages I send tends to be effective with these guys. Plus they tend to try again a year or so later (they forget they were in contact!) but I keep the records so I know they got cold feet previously. There’s a few like that who clearly build up the horn to book a session every year or so and then who cancel it with some excuse when the reality hits home! I find it amusing because when they book they’re clearly running some fantasy in their head “I want you to do x and x to me, I want to have y and z etc….I’m definitely going to be a regular…I love big cocks, I’m very tight etc etc”. Then the day before they message with “sorry Jamie my mother’s cat died…my car has a flat tyre…I’ve got Covid…I’ll rebook soon etc”. Then I hear nothing from him for a year or so until it happens again 😂.

Sorry but it’s gone. You fell for his talk. There’s lots of debate on here about deposits, so I won’t add to it but I will say that if you’re given a ‘family crisis’ type story to justify sending money then the best and only sensible thing to do is say “I hope things work out for you” and then end the conversation and find a more professional provider.

At the moment I have clients booked in for July. One of those booked it 2 months ago. Those guys plan ahead! 🙂

Casual sex is very different to paid sex for me. If I’m being paid, I’m not thinking of my enjoyment (except that I enjoy his enjoyment of it). I’m working so I’m thinking of time, what he likes, what might I do next, and if it’s for porn I’m thinking of camera angles etc. It’s definitely not recreational. With casual sex I think I take a more selfish approach and I don’t think afterwards ‘I could have charged x for that’ because it’s a very different experience. I have less recreational sex though now than before I was doing sex work. I tend to want to save the energy for the work, which I think is not necessarily a healthy approach!

All I’d say is get one where the top doesn’t open unexpectedly in your bag 😱

Ask as early as possible and be straight up about it. It’s quite annoying to have clients act in a coy way by opening with “hi how are you” etc and then slowly circling around what they want. Much better to say “hi I’m looking for x and x etc are you ok with that? If so I’d like to book a session for duration on time, day etc”. Don’t be shy about stating anything you want, I’ve heard everything.

I ran into a client at a naked beach in Mykonos one time. He was with his partner. It didn’t seem to be a problem.

There’s really no excuse for it. Have a shower beforehand. In my experience though it’s rare. I can think of a few times clients haven’t been clean and I’ve simply not gone anywhere near their bum (even after discreetly wiping them).

I’ll consider it because I get payment via the subscribers to the film we shoot, so I’m not doing it for free. This is my work. Suppose your boss said to you one day “business is quiet so can you work for 20% less today?”. Would you feel like your boss valued your work? Clients can ask for discounts of course. They’ll rationalise it: ‘he won’t mind’, ‘he’s only a sex worker so he doesn’t really matter’, ‘he’s probably desperate for any money so I can get away with asking for a discount’, ‘I’ll feel like I got one up on him’, ‘I deserve it’….all sorts of reasons to justify it to themselves. The response is always ‘no sorry no discount’.