my BF and I have been together for about 2 years. He knew I liked massages sometimes with a HE. for me its mostly about the "will it/won't it happen" thing that excites me. He has no interest. We told each other that we would always tell the other one if something happened and I agreed to that. One time I got a massage from a man that I was not into at all, and it was very unexpected considering the place/establishment, but he finished me off. I get hard very easily and can cum no matter what. so this dude jacks me off and I was very surprised by it. I was gonna take it to the grave but he asked me a few weeks later, "I feel like you hooked up with someone or got a dirty massage recently" and I told him yes, "sorry I lied, I was embarrassed and shocked it happened, wasn't expecting it, didnt feel the need to tell". that didnt go over well hahah. regardless, we set a new rule that those interactions don't need to be disclosed. I will still tell him sometimes if it happens but it feels like a little too much. Its something I like to do, it takes an hour, i like to cum a lot, and its not like I'm done for the day if someone jacks me off. so I dont feel the need to tell him everytime. It works for us but it took some arguments and trust discussions to get there.