This is the best thread ever -- thanks so much to "mecloud" for getting it started and to all the others who have replied. I'm in the same place but I've given up the self-consciousness -- I'm the paying client and a genuinely good practitioner totally gets that and wants to be a good person. Recommendations for Alex ("Blessings") are totally accurate, he is exceptional. I've wanted to try "SS" but haven't -- will do so now that i see yet another citing of him. But here's what I do -- which some guys won't like, saying they're "too busy" or whatever, but the good ones understand it: Text and ask if you can give them a call to talk first about what you're looking for. The good ones will be fine with that. Don't take much of their time, of course, but be honest and clear -- the good ones will appreciate it, and it will separate them from others right away.
Try James in TriBeca area too -- sorry I don't have his link but he's on MF. Mature guy, so not the 25 year old muscle dude, but really good, and honest and open and caring.
Thanks so much for this topic.