leigh.bess.toad

I saw this on Facebook yesterday. I don't know if the letter is real, but if it is, the man is a genius. Dear Mrs. Woolf, Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Woolf, are listed below and are "documented by our video surveillance cameras": 1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5- minute intervals. 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money. 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of chips. 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children obliged. 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' Emergency Medics were called. 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 10. September 10: While handling guns in the Sports department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. 11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme. 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels. 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!' 14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN! 15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was. And last, but not least: 16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the Staff passed out.

You know I love you, but BITE ME!!!!

As one of David-sf's friends responded to him on facebook today, "I love you, but bite me".

On the weekend? You expect them to be here on the weekend? Really?

Well the day of the luncheon, the forecast is for a high of 52. Colder on Saturday, with a high of 36, but still not too bad for DC in January. No polar vortex while you're here. Sorry. Too much heat with too many hot guys coming to town, I guess.

I've been kvetching at David-sf today who was complaining it was so cold in PS at 61 degrees today. Poor David. Poor Dane. I don't want to hear it.

And I"m concerned about the correlation of the use of those drugs in other settings with unsafe sex and an increase in HIV transmission.

Maybe this is what you need?

Rich. I am assuming that you mean the escort would be doing the fisting? Yes there are escorts who can and do this. I know of several off the top of my head. And yes, I have been fisted by one of them. Trust me, there was no PnP or any drugs of any sort whatsoever. I wouldn't recommend that, but I also have a huge aversion to PnP in general. I do know of one escort who has been the fisting bottom in porn but don't know if he does this with clients. If you have more questions or want to talk more, send me a PM.

Steven -- thanks so much. You have NO idea how badly I would love to do this version at karaoke. This is my partner's favorite song for me to sing to him at karaoke. It's sort of become "our" song (well, his song. I prefer to sing him Evergreen). And I would kill to be able to do this version. Because as it says "The gayest man on earth would call this over the top!". Thanks for the reminder.

That line alone should have gotten the scriptwriter into the Scriptwriter's Hall of Fame. What a brilliant episode.

You messed it up a bit there. It's "I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy"

Really? Luka Rocco Magnotta (born Eric Clinton Kirk Newman; July 24, 1982) is a Canadian pornographic actor and model accused of killing and dismembering Lin Jun, a Chinese international student, then mailing his severed limbs to political parties and elementary schools.[7] After a video allegedly depicting the murder was posted online, Magnotta fled the country, becoming the subject of an Interpol Red Notice and prompting an international manhunt. He was apprehended at an Internet café in Berlin while reading news about himself.[7] He was previously sought by animal rights groups for allegedly uploading videos of himself killing kittens.[8] The above was taken from Wikipedia. I hardly think he is the cutting edge of anything except a very long prison term.