No wonder gay men fear getting older more then the rest of the population. I used to see older gay guys out in Weho at the clubs and feel so sad for them. They just looked so lonely and sad. So yeah, that became my biggest fear. Loss of identity and no longer being welcome in the community. Sex and sexuality is a big part of our identity and the community was built on that for better or worse. Bars, clubs, circuit parties, and many other gay stuff. Anyone who doesn't fit in will be excluded. Age is a big factor in that of course. Unless you're a celebrity or it's your house that they're using.
I went out recently to Weho on Saturday night. In the past I remember getting so excited by the prospects of who I was going to meet and maybe hook up with. Except this time all I could feel was that it's too late and I'm tired. Ha. Clearly I've aged out of that.
As time goes by I've lost interest in all that juvenile stuff. Well, sometimes I'll go out to a bars once in a while. Friends and family are my community and identity now. It's still weird though since I spent such a big part of my life escaping family for the glitz and glammer. I don't even recognize the club kid that I once was.