nate_sf

Wonderful weekend as always! I've lost track of how many of these I've attended, but it's become the highlight of the year for me. Really sorry to have missed @David-SF's pool party and the dinner, but it was great to see everyone. Thank you @Oliver and his Hot Helpers for keeping it going. Always so much fun!

I’m late this year but on my way. Happy to leave rainy SF for a couple days. See you soon!

I love this! Someone find a scriptwriter and we can all be executive producers 🥳

I've only been stiffed once. It was a forum member, during one of the DC meetups. Both clients and providers warned me ahead of time that he was known to pull stunts, so I wasn't surprised when at the end of the session he claimed to have lost his wallet. He put on quite the act, trying to look panicked and all. "Where is my wallet? OMG, I've lost my wallet!!!" I just sat and watched his performance for a couple of minutes, then showed him the door. (For what it's worth, I don't believe he posts on this forum anymore, let alone attend any of the events)

If the guy is charging $200 for a massage on a bed, I'm thinking this is less therapeutic/skilled massage, and more likely something more erotic. There's some more of that wiggle room! 😛 If there's a charge for parking, presumably it's a good hotel and that comes with some expense for the provider as well. I know that when I travel, I think about the setting, and also how it will be perceived by the client. I don't want to invite a client to meet me at the Red Roof Inn, even if the parking is free. @Simon Suraci had a good suggestion, that the provider find a rental that's well-located with street parking. That can work really well, though the last time I did that on a trip, a client came in and said it was too bad there wasn't a hotel bar to have a drink at first. (Note to self: next time find an Airbnb down the street from a bar...)

As a provider, I never ask for or solicit reviews, and my numbers are in that same range. My RM profile has been active since December 2015 and I've received a total of 15 reviews, which works out to about 1.8 reviews per year. I greatly value these reviews, but they've come on their own, and I appreciate it when clients want to share their experience with others. However my business model does not rely on them. That begs the question, would I have more business if I solicited reviews? I can't answer that. But at least from the perspective of a provider who does not solicit or rely on reviews, the changes to RM's policies don't appear to have had any impacts on my business. My sense for new guys would be that their newness would overcome any issues with having few if any reviews. Presumably they'll attract clients who don't care about reviews. But I'm just guessing.

Just curious, but how do you know if you’ve been put on a “no re-hire” list? Did the provider tell you not to contact him again, or give some other indication that he won’t see you again? I’m just asking in case you might be reading more into this than intended. Hopefully that’s the case!

Welcome to the forum Johnny! It’s great to get the perspective of a dancer here.

I'll be there! Though due to a work commitment with my day job, I won't be arriving until Saturday evening after the dinner. But I'll be sticking around until Tuesday.

What you are describing is "a regular." I agree with everything others have said on this. I'll add that another advantage of having a regular thing is it allows a continuation of exploration. Like, "next time I'd like to try ______" or "next time could you bring ______?" Having a regular thing going with an escort is not unlike having a regular business relationship in other trades. Yes, you're friendly, and you sincerely enjoy seeing each other when business brings you together. Maybe it even drifts towards a friendship, but otherwise it's the "professional relationship" you mention. Just this week for my day job I had a Zoom with a vendor whose contract was up for renewal, and when we got on screen we were both truly pleased to see each other after nearly a year of only being in touch occasionally by email. Then there are the baristas, barbers, trainers, etc etc... people who we know well enough to be greeted by name, and while not friends in the conventional sense there is still a friendly relationship. Of course it's in the interest of business to have regular clients, escorts included, so I'll say I'm biased! But I see the advantage to both parties. Most of my clients are regulars, and it's nice to just get a text that says "come on over" and we pick up where we left off last time.

On longer sessions there's usually dinner or drinks either before or after. Or as a break in between. Some of my favorite appointments have been where we do a quickie when I arrive, then go out for dinner, then come back for a longer session. @Jamie21 has great suggestions as well. Showering together can be a great icebreaker or interlude, as can massage.

I’d suggest finding a guy you like who says he’s vers, then when you contact him tell him you’d like him to bottom for you. Be direct. That should do the trick. I’m vers, and it’s not unusual for a client to mention whether they want me to bottom, top, or flip. I love all of it, but if he says he wants me to bottom, then that’s what he’ll get, with enthusiasm. I’m sure you can find a sexy guy who will be up for what you have in mind.

I agree! I really liked it when he changed his look to what he’s got going now.

I’ve also met him socially a couple of times, and he seemed like a nice sexy guy. I too didn’t get any PNP vibe from him at all, so I’m surprised to see that listed in his “I am into” list. He carries himself with maturity and I enjoyed talking with him. I have no intimate experience with him however so can’t comment one way or the other. But from everything I saw, I’d think it would be worth giving him a try.

Welcome to the Forum, and to your exploration of manhood! From a provider's perspective, I've never been with a trans guy but I'd be up for it. I expect some of my colleagues will also be up for it, others not, but you might be surprised how many guys would be into meeting you. The only way to find out is to ask. I see there are a couple of transmascs who advertise on RM here in SF, but I expect lots of cis guys would welcome the opportunity to meet you too.

Lots of good advice here. I wanted to add that my understanding is that PrEP takes a couple of weeks to become fully effective for anal sex, so having someone slip you one or two won’t work. As others have mentioned, talk to a medical professional about starting PrEP. For most people it also takes some getting used to. For me it took just a few days, but others it can take a bit longer. I’m not a doc, though I do have a lab coat for those who are into that kind of thing. But talk to a real medical professional to get yourself ready for your adventures.

That's what we're here for... among other things 😛

We replaced our old gas gravity heater with a heat pump a few years ago. Agreed, so easy to use and effective, and now we have A/C as well. Same as a lot of people here, 62 at night, 67 first thing in morning, and 65 the rest of the day. 72 during the day in the summer. Though @FreshFluff you’re getting me pondering that overnight temperature! I’ve lowered the thermostat to 60 tonight to see how it is.

For those who are not familiar with it, this was a gathering of forum members coinciding with MAL and the MLK weekend. It was originally organized by a very active member of this forum so that he could meet other East Coast members. It started with just a brunch at Annie's, then expanded to include a visit to the Secret's strip club, a happy hour at MAL, and some other events here and there. I think it reached its pinnacle about 10 or 12 years ago, with perhaps around 30 people attending. The original organizers are no longer participating in this forum, so over the years since various people (including me) have jumped in to organize it. The last time was an attempt for the 2022 weekend, but at that time we were still coming out of the pandemic and there was only a handful of people expressing interest in attending. Then DC implemented masking restrictions in response to a winter Covid spike, and we called it off. Interest had been waning in recent years, particularly once Secret's closed. For me, the visit to Secret's was a big highlight, and I expect it was for others too. But the most common complaint was it's just too damn cold in DC in January, so thanks but no thanks. And traveling during the winter is not fun. I think it was great at its prime, but at least in my opinion has played itself out. Of course some may have other opinions!

Sexy man! The photos are fine. Just no hardons!

This is my experience as well.

I'm old enough to remember that when someone wanted to commemorate an important event, they'd send a telegram. Even though they could just as easily (or more easily) make a phone call. The telegram represented importance and status, and would often be read out loud at a gathering such as a wedding. Perhaps the MadMen campaign (or likely a similar one in real life) worked its magic into the public consciousness!

The push notifications for the RM chats seldom if ever work, so the provider is not aware of there being a message unless he logs in. Whereas if it’s a text directly to him, he’ll see it right away. I try to check in on my RM chats a few times a day. But it’s frustrating to find a chat with something like “are you available this afternoon” when I’m only just checking hours later. But I still like the RM chat feature for the reasons mentioned, particularly if the client has added info to their profile. It works fine for hires that are further out in the future and there is more time for back and forth.

I think you’re on the right track here. Maybe at least five photos. They don’t need to show your face but should give a sense of what you’re like. I don’t think you need to worry about the notecards with your profile… usually the catfishing involves too-good-to-be-true Instagram type images, and almost always show the guy’s face. With your faceless pics people will just assume you’re wanting to be discreet. Speaking of discreet, you could mention in your ad text something about discretion being important to you, and that you’ll offer that in return. That will help explain the faceless pics, and will also offer assurance to clients who may also value privacy. Small town after all! As for what’s changed in 2023, I’m not sure how long you’ve been away, but the biggest change is probably the communication styles. Lots more text exchanges than years ago. There’s no shortage of discussions in that regard on this forum!

The advantage of a hire vs a hookup is you can be more direct if you’d like. He’s there to provide you a service, on your terms. If he walks in the door and you want to jump his bones right then and there, you can do it! Or if you want to take it slow, chat and maybe have a drink first, that’s your call too. You don’t need to be too worried about what he might think the way you might with a hookup. Of course don’t be a jerk since he’s a person too, but don’t be afraid to ask for what you’d like.